Sigil - At 3 hours 17 minutes past anti-peak yesterday, Na'Tak Karari stepped through the Arch of Three Sorrows in the Clerk's Ward thereby completing the final leg of his journey in which he visited every Outer Plane in only 89 days. Upon arrival, he was greeted by a cheering crowd of 1,000 bashers who heard word of his coming as chant leaked out of Release From Care (a burg in Elysium). A bit worn from his trip, the planewalker was nevertheless in high spirits.
The incredible journey, which started out as a bet with a quadrone 90 days prior, took Karari through every plane touching the Outlands. "Bloody modron was always rattlin' his bone-box about the Great March", said Karari. "After a few pints o' bub that afternoon, I told him the real chant was that any berk with a pair of decent boots could do the same. He bet me I couldn't do it and I was just leatherheaded enough to try."
Although the stakes of the bet have not been revealed, an argument broke out almost immediately after Karari's arrival concerning the terms of the wager. Upon completion of the journey, Karari gave the modron all the gate keys he had utilised in his travels, a prior condition of the bet. After examining them briefly, the modron accused Karari of cross-trading and declared the "contract null and void."
The quadrone, number 207-148-15, declared," Karari has failed to fulfil the terms of the agreement. He has provided gate-keys as promised, but he did not complete his trip in the requisite order. This is a violation of the terms of the wager and nullifies the bet. The gate keys are useless to us."
This immediately angered Karari who shouted, "Barmy Box! I went to all of them! Order doesn't matter!" Karari's exclamation elicited a load roar from the crowd and shouts of "Don't let 'em peel ya Karari!" and "Cross-trading rogue!" The two bashers continued to argue loudly while bystanders increased their booing and jeering. Just as the berks wound to a fevered pitch, the situation turned especially barmy when three fiends (Tanar'ri) strolled into the fray and attempted to steal the bag of gate keys. A whole squadron of Hardheads arrived moments later, subduing the crowd and scragging the modron, Karari and several Indeps standing nearby for rabble-rousing.
After being temporarily released pending court action, Karari explained to SIGIS that he had bypassed Gehenna after visiting the Grey Waste and headed straight on to Baator. Later, he used an unknown gate from Mount Celestia to travel back through the Waste and on to the Four-fold furnaces. Karari then completed his journey by revisiting Release From Care where he started his adventure. As to the intervention of the Tanar'ri, Karari told SIGIS that they apparently wanted a Succubus head back which he'd used as a gate key to the Abyss.
As to the whether the modron will have to pay the music, Mover Virdo of the Harmonium told SIGIS that they would "Let the Guvners sort this mess out. No modron's gonna try and bob them." The fiends on the other hand gave the laugh to the Hardheads, though they failed to acquire the gate keys which the Harmonium is holding as evidence. The case is expected to go to trial sometime in the next two weeks. However, the Guvners are unlikely to answer the question still on a lot of bashers minds: "What was the modron going to do with all those keys?"
-Rig'nar Horvath
Clerk's Ward Correspondent
Na'tak Karari Travels Outer Planes In 89 Days!
