Sigil: City of Doors

(NOTE: The following interviews are to be treated as published articles within S.I.G.I.S. and thus all content is privy to in-game PC knowledge. These interviews also appear as Nero's character biography entitled: Nero Urbane - Interviews of Mystery & Cheese.)

“Can Eladrin be Trusted?”
~Column by Lana Bright

Lana Bright: -hasnÂ’t been on at all? Dammit! Is it on now? Check? Check? Alright, now itÂ’s on. Sorry, what were you saying?

Nero Urbane: I was just thanking you for sitting down and talking with me. I really didnÂ’t expect anyone at Sigis to respond to a Clueless.

LB: They wouldnÂ’t, so donÂ’t get too excited about it. IÂ’m probably getting fired tomorrow anyway because I canÂ’t seem to find a decent story. Saw your letter and thought, What the hell? Going to get canned anyway, so why not?

NU: IÂ’m sorry to hear that, but pleased it brought us together. Shall we continue?

LB: Yes, we should. So, IÂ’m sitting down with Mister Nero Urbane-

NU: Just Nero.

LB: …Nero, who is a truly rare sight in Sigil. Nero is an eladrin, one of the fabled races that some elves are said to have evolved from. He’s explained that his people’s cities – called feyspires – which formerly plane-shifted between the Prime Eberron and the Feywild are now anchored to the former. I’m here to learn just what the Eladrin have in store for the prime world. So, Nero, following the feyspires’ new permanence in Eberron, planar scholars and travelers will be curious – particularly regarding your relationship with that very event. What can you tell us about that?

NU: Nothing.

LB: Nothing? Surely you can share some insight on the EladrinÂ’s involveme-

NU: We werenÂ’t involved.

LB: But didnÂ’t you earlier admit that new tensions have risen between the feyspires and citizens of Eberron?

NU: Refugees are always regarded with fear and a measure of hostility. ItÂ’s only natural that the people of Eberron would reject my people.

LB: Is that how you relocated to the Eberron city of Sharn, Nero? As a refugee?

NU: I arrived in Sharn several weeks before the Day of Mourning – the event that anchored our cities.

LB: So you were sent as a vanguard for the invasion. Can you tell us about that?

NU: I wasnÂ’t a vanguard and there is no invasion. I chose to escort my cousin to-

LB: What is your cousinÂ’s name?

NU: Ororia – I was escorting Ororia to Sharn and also arranging a shipment of cheese.

LB: Â…IÂ’m sorry, did you say cheese?

NU: I did. Eladrin don’t operate their own dairies and many have developed a liking for cheese. Sharn’s cheese is among the more delicious, and so the master gourmand of Shaelas Tiraleth – my home city – requested that I arrange a generous shipment during my visit.

LB: IÂ… see. What, uhÂ… What happened next?

NU: Town criers broadcast the Day of Mourning several weeks after we arrived – you see, not only did the Day of Mourning anchor the feyspires, but it also destroyed Cyre, the country where Shaelas Tiraleth was located. So I was stranded in Sharn with a city’s worth of cheese. I still have some samples with me. Would you like some?

LB: No. No, thank you. LetÂ’s move away from cheese for a moment and discuss your reaction to the Day of Mourning and how it compares to your relocation to Sigil.

NU: Miss Bright, thatÂ’s an insensitive suggestion.

LB: Then can we discuss why you chose to stay in Sharn, and if youÂ’ll similarly choose to stay in Sigil?

NU: Ororia was heartbroken, I couldnÂ’t abandon her. I found work to support myself in the meantime, often courier work that brought me into the lower quarters of the city. I was exposed to SharnÂ’s forgotten, those trampled by the war machine of a full centuryÂ’s conflict, those who couldnÂ’t buy themselves out of filth and starvation. My courier work gradually became that of an Inquisitive a-

LB: What is an Inquisitive?

NU: A detective – As I was saying, my work became investigative when I learned just how exploited and underrepresented those people were.

LB: So you chose to capitalize on the chaos in wake of EberronÂ’s Last War and the poor circumstances of SharnÂ’s under privileged?

NU: Miss Bright, I don’t think you understand. Do I seem like a swindler and cheat? I have as much concern for the needy as I do for my own family. I didn’t work for payment and lived a poor life during those years – what little money I could gather paid for rent and refrigerated cheese storage. I’ve no wish to take advantage of the poor; I understand that such people have no recourse in cities that abuse them. They’re less than neglected – they’re invisible. I can’t help but see them and what the Last War and your Hive does to them. So I looked into their countless claims of injustice and saw what I could make right.

LB: IÂ… I see. Ahem. AndÂ… You were an investigator in Shaelas Tiraleth before the Day of Mourning?

NU: I was not, actually. I was a holy justicar, trained from a young age to scour the Feywild for threats to my people and eliminate them. But that was then. Whatever Shaelas Tiraleth was and the people within were, itÂ’s non-existent at present. And each eladrin was forced to address our new world in our own fashions, carve our own lives. Not unlike every Clueless that steps through a portal. And I think that was the spirit your questions, wasnÂ’t it? How can Eberron trust a people so viscerally connected to the Day of Morning, and by extension how can Sigil trust me?

LB: WellÂ… yes, thatÂ’s it precisely, Nero.

NU: Take a look at me, Miss Bright. Do I make an inconspicuous vanguard? I dress in foreign fashions, speak with an alien accent, and as you pointed out, IÂ’m a member of a seldom encountered race. I am nothing more than a man whoÂ’s been displaced from his home for a second time and worries about his future.

LB: I apologize, Nero. I wasnÂ’t thinking. Will you re-establish yourself as an Inquisitive here, taking the causes of the Hive upon yourself?

NU: I will. In fact, IÂ’ve already reunited a long separated father and son, and IÂ’ve also completed two preliminary investigations that will directly contribute to my work in the Hive.

LB: ThatÂ’s ambitious for a man who has been here less than a week. May I ask after the investigations, or are they classified?

NU: The natures of these cases were unique, so I’m at liberty to say – I was investigating Neli La Meor and the man known as Phantom.

LB: You canÂ’t be serious! Do you know what those two can do to you if they discover you meddling in their affairs?

NU: Pay me, I hope. They more or less hired me to investigate themselves.

LB: UhÂ… alrightÂ… I thinkÂ… I think that about concludes our interview.

NU: Very well. Thank you for your time, Miss Bright, and once again you have my condolences for the loss of job.

LB: YeahÂ… You know, I have a good feeling about this interview, but I guess we'll see. Before I go, may I try some of your Eberron cheese?

NU: Absolutely. I have with me arahoni, garamond, and manzanittaÂ…

“Clueless Now One of Cage’s Leading Cheese Caterers”
~Column by Lana Bright

Several days ago S.I.G.I.S. published an interview with one Nero Urbane. I posed challenging questions to Mr. Urbane, testing the validity of his claims that the prime world of Eberron has suffered a cosmological shift, and not subject to eladrin invasion. Mr. Urbane insisted that his people are only victims in EberronÂ’s new dilemma, but I remain skeptical.

Perhaps in spite of that, this publication has received several interested responses in Mr. Urbane’s story of misfortune and cheese. So I sat down and interviewed Mr. Urbane again – and this time I had a surprise in store.

Nero Urbane: Good morning, Miss Bright. IÂ’m glad to see that you still hold your position at Sigis.

Lana Bright: Turns out that your story interested some readers. No idea why, no one gives a damn about clueless. But who am I to argue?

NU: Quite right. So, what sorts of questions do your interested readers have for this clueless?

LB: Straight to business? Fair enough – Primarily, the readers want to know how you plan to tackle the problems of Hive injustice and why you think you can make a difference.

NU: That’s a very good question, Miss Bright. The first thing I intend to do is conclude assembling my new informant network, at which point IÂ’ll make my services known in the Hive. I expect stonewall distrust, so my immediate cases will likely be small and informal. Eventually I hope to build a rapport with the Hivers, at which point they will come to me when in need – optimally, of course. Regarding why I think IÂ’m the man for the jobÂ… well, I donÂ’t see anyone else doing it. Do you?

LB: The Harmonium are responsible for law enforcement, Nero. DonÂ’t you think you should leave this to the professionals?

NU: I am a professional. Next question?

LB: Sigh. The clueless have a stigma for ignorance and timidity, yet you were featured in Sigis within your first week here. How is it that youÂ’re so unfazed by Sigil?

NU: Ah, thatÂ’s easy. I find Sigil completely unimpressive. Next question?

LB: UhÂ… How about expounding on that a bit?

NU: As you wish. Sigil is not entirely unlike Sharn, where IÂ’ve lived the past five years. But where Sigil is so concentrated that it bombards and effectively dulls the senses, Sharn sports just the right quantity of wonder to shock the senses. In other words, Sigil is too much of itself to be impressive. ItÂ’s just a giant tangle, while Sharn is an elegant design.

LB: Never heard it put quite like that before. Our next question comes from a young woman in the LadyÂ’s Ward. WhatÂ’s your favorite color and drink?

NU: Red and bourbon. I was sternly informed by my mentor that all investigators are required to drink bourbon – it’s apparently a rule.

LB: Another question from the LadyÂ’s Ward; are your cheese mongering services still available and how may you be contacted for catering purposes?

NU: Ha! My entire stock remains in Sharn, so IÂ’m afraid I havenÂ’t any cheese left to monger. However, IÂ’m still available for consultancy and a message can be left for me with Muriel at the Foul Olde Spirit Inn located in the merchantsÂ’ bazaar.

LB: Alright, and our last question from our readers: Will you be joining SigilÂ’s bloated adventuring community?

NU: Yes and no. There are some that I very much look forward to working with, but there are others that I find to be insufferable – mostly half-naked tiefling women.

LB: Do you have a problem with the fiendlings, Nero?

NU: I am celestial, Miss Bright. Even tieflings rub me the wrong way, and IÂ’ve noticed a certain clique that evidently believes the sole purpose of life is to scantily dress themselves, bounce, giggle, poke, and hug one another, and all around behave like a bunch of giddy twelve year old girls. LetÂ’s say theyÂ’re doing themselves a disservice and I hope to remain a goodly distance away from them.

LB: I suppose that makes sense. You do realize this will publish, right? That theyÂ’ll be able to read exactly what you just said?

NU: Oh, yes, actually IÂ’m counting on it. Shall we move onto the next topic?

LB: That concludes my questions for this interview. But I do have a surprise for you.

NU: Oh, do tell.

LB: It so happens that our interview was read by a dying catering tycoon, one of the city’s most successful – Tuck Galore, heard of him?

NU: CanÂ’t say I have.

LB: Well, Mister Galore privately owns his business and lacks any interested heirs, his sons apparently believe that his life’s pursuit of providing high quality food service is unworthy of them. He’s compartmentalized and sold off most his business piece meal – save for one element.

NU: Let me guess – cheese.

LB: Cheese. We received this parcel the day after the interview published, within it you’ll find that he’s left his entire cheese dairy and warehouse to you. You’re now the proud owner of Galore Cheese Limited – Congratulations.

NU: YouÂ’ve got to be kidding me.

LB: Afraid not. ItÂ’s quite funny, and I think Tuck will have himself a good laugh when he reads this. YouÂ’ll find all the information you need in the packet. I guess your cheese mongering services are still available after all, hm?

NU: Â…

LB: Claps! Oh, that was fun! Well, I think that concludes our interview for today. IÂ’m looking forward to our next meeting, Nero.

NU: Next meeting?

LB: Oh, yes, didnÂ’t I tell you? My editors are considering a regular column for us. So, thanks and all for saving my career. Farewell!

NU: UhÂ… right. FarewellÂ…

“Nero Urbane: A Character Interview”
~Column by Lana Bright

As my readers know, a clueless by name of Nero Urbane, requested a S.I.G.I.S. interview shortly after his arrival. Initially Mr. Urbane was ignored by this publication, but I thought that everyone deserves a chance to be heard, even the clueless, and decided to personally accept Mr. UrbaneÂ’s request. Our first interview was an expose into the newest planar turmoil on his home world, Eberron, and our second interview was a brief glimpse of the man himself. Today I sit down with Mr. Urbane in hopes of gaining a further understanding of him and how heÂ’s adapted to our city and our way of life thus far.

Lana Bright: Good afternoon, Nero.

Nero Urbane: Good morning, Miss Bright.

LB: Ah, the now contagious Good Morning… Tell me, Nero, though Sigil boasts a distinctive light-to-darkness cycle, why do you insist on greeting everyone with a cheery ‘Good Morning?’

NU: That’s become a common question, so I’ll try to explain. During my first days here, I took very close measure of your day-to-light cycle, as you call it. There were evident inconsistencies – a day lasting two hours more than the previous, a night lasting the length of an entire day. Time was so fluid, that I quickly lost track and abandoned the effort. Yes, I know Cagers like to throw around words like Peak and Anti-Peak, but I find they don’t mean anything. It would be like my indicating the curve and opposite curve on a circle, and expecting you to know which portion of the circle I meant. So I decided that if time couldn’t be reliable, at least it could be useful. I enjoy mornings a great deal, so every time is now morning for me.

LB: [Chuckles!] ThatÂ’s a fair enough answer. I wish all clueless were as positive about Sigil as you appear to be.

NU: OneÂ’s world is what one makes of it, Miss Bright.

LB: Which leads me to my next question. Despite your short time here, itÂ’s become evident that you not only spurn the Factions, but you also spurn the idea of Gods and religion. Do you mind if I ask why?

NU: Not at all. First, please, let me clarify that I donÂ’t accept the Factions and Gods, but have absolutely no issue with religion.

LB: I think youÂ’re going to have to explain that a bit since most people believe that the Gods and religion are tantamount to each other.

NU: TheyÂ’re not. A God is an entity, a religion is a group of like-minded people who gather to achieve causes, enhance each othersÂ’ spiritual selves, and work to benefit their communities.

LB: ThatÂ’sÂ… interesting. But you were going to explain why you reject the Factions and Gods?

NU: Yes, I was. You see, the Factions are composed of extremists. That’s not to say that there aren’t any moderate, level-minded individuals within each faction – in fact, I’ve met a few – but that the core of any given Faction is adherence to a belief. I call this a fatal flaw. Belief is already tricky enough in that it’s so concrete – if you ever want to anger a person, challenge their beliefs, it never fails. And this is because people cherish their beliefs; keep them close as an immutable guide to life and thought. They need to believe that their beliefs are correct, and that on some level everyone else shares them – even if they don’t admit it. Combine that psychology with the Factions’ themes and you have a very real problem. Additionally, as with all extremism, they subscribe to a default approach and reaction to scenarios they’ve not yet encountered. In other words, making up their minds without any data, because they’ll unfailing fit all data to their own belief structure to suite their previously made decisions. That is why I reject the Factions.

LB: That was more thorough than I expected of you, Nero. YouÂ’re usually more concise.

NU: A friend pointed out that IÂ’m too concise during these interviews, and youÂ’re probably looking for more substantial answers.

LB: Well, IÂ’m grateful to your friend. Does your explanation also apply to the Gods?

NU: No, thatÂ’s separate. I donÂ’t know everything about the Gods, how many there are, what they do, if they matter. But IÂ’ve spent some time researching a group called the Seldarine of Toril, and from that I have extrapolated that at least some gods are charlatans and imposters. This Corellon Larethian and his ilk are swindlers of the worst kind. They submit a belief format for the elves, most of which is inane, and then punish the Toril elves if each doesnÂ’t adhere. Do you know that Corellon claims that elves were born of his spilled blood during a battle with another god? ThereÂ’s a Toril location called Semberholme, and if an elf kills another elf within it, then all elves are banned from Arvandor for all time. What sort of sadistic, twisted God who loves his people would do such a thing? Punish all for the crimes of one? It sounds more like the fear tactics used by mortal tyrants, if you ask me. There are known facts regarding elves and their evolution that the Toril elves have been expressly denied by this Seldarine, and it appears as if theyÂ’ve never done anything benevolent for their worshippers. ItÂ’s just a long list of ignorance, bad decisions, and then broad, sweeping punishments unto those theyÂ’re meant to protect. So, I wonder: If one group of Gods can be so false, how genuine are the majority? I donÂ’t know, but IÂ’ll stay away from the frustration of the topic.

LB: IÂ… see. So what do you believe in?

NU: I believe in the individual and what the individual can accomplish through education and determination. If one has the know-how and the drive, one can achieve anything.

LB: That’s actually very romantic of you. Very unexpected, Nero. And while we’re on the topic of romance – you’ve acquired a reputation for being something of a playboy. Is there anything you would like to say to the women of Sigil now?

NU: Yes, there isÂ… YouÂ’re all beautiful. Each and every one of you is a gem and a treasure, and the men in your lives are lucky to know you, enjoy your company, your conversation, and your affection. By the by, Miss Bright, have I told you that your nose is perfectly sloped? Really, I often canÂ’t help myself from staring.

LB: [Awkward Silence!] T-thank youÂ… Nero. IÂ’m flattered.

NU: YouÂ’re very welcome. I understand that some men are cold, distant, anti-social, and that the social ones seem crude, inappropriate, and perverse. IÂ’m just being honest when I compliment women, and IÂ’ve no hidden agenda. My compliments are nothing more than compliments. There are a few women who have engaged me beyond just friendship, and I assure you that they very much know the difference between my honest compliments and actual flirting and pursuit.

LB: Oh, will I now enjoy an insight into your love affairs? Do tell!

NU: [Laughs!] IÂ’m afraid not. I value my privacy and respect the privacy of others.

LB: Coming from an investigator? DonÂ’t you violate peopleÂ’s privacy every day?

NU: WellÂ… yes. But thatÂ’s a different sort of privacy. Even you would have to agree that thereÂ’s a difference between sharing the details of my romantic affairs and seeking evidence for a crime.

LB: Relax, IÂ’m teasing, Nero. So, when last we spoke, you had just become the sole proprietor of Galore Cheeses Limited. ItÂ’s been slightly less than a week, and already we see activity from your operation. What can you tell us?

NU: Well, unlike my last cheese-related endeavor, this one is actually a business. I’ve inspected the dairy and warehouse, familiarized myself with Tuck Galore’s business model, and have to say that he had his head on straight. The dairy itself is operated by a large team of cranium rats who are paid with the very cheese they work to produce. The cheese is cultivated from the milks of lim lims, who can apparently produce any variety of milk – cow’s, goat’s, soy, etcetera – depending on their diet. The dairy practically runs itself. The first thing I did was engage with Neli La Meor and offer my cheese to her efforts in the Hive. I think everyone has noticed there’s been cheese crated in by the wagon-full to feed the workers and needy. I’ve also learned of a clinic within the Hive run by a certain charitable person, and I hope to soon offer said person a regular donation. My apologies for the vagueness there, but that one’s a bit of sensitive topic.

LB: YouÂ’re quite charitable and IÂ’m certain that will all go a long way to improving your reputation.

NU: I do it because it needs doing, not for personal fame.

LB: I understand, Nero. Lastly, can you tell us anything regarding your current investigations?

NU: I can tell you that IÂ’m involved with two at the moment and both are classified.

LB: [Sigh!] Denying me the juicy stuffÂ… Very well. Well, thank you again for your time, Nero. I look forward to our next chat.

NU: As do I, Miss Bright.

LB: Please, call me Lana.

“The Adventurous, Successful, and Conceited”
~Column by Lana Bright

Over the past several weeks IÂ’ve had the opportunity to sit down and speak with a Clueless named Nero Urbane. Unlike so many other new travelers to Sigil, Nero embraced our way of life with ease and enthusiasm, and as I now look across at his casual poise and friendly smile, I cannot identify the Clueless eladrin I first spoke with. During his short time in our city Nero has established himself as an adventurer, a successful and skilled investigator, a wealthy playboy, and through an unexpected twist of fortune has also become SigilÂ’s leading cheese producer. Thus far weÂ’ve been granted a telling glimpse into the man himself, but today I wanted to hear his views on the other famous people of Sigil.

Lana Bright: Good morning, Nero. You look well today.

Nero Urbane: Good morning, Lana. That dress beautifully compliments your eyes – did you know?

LB: NoÂ… Thank you, Nero. IÂ’m afraid my schedule is tight, so we must get right down to business. As I explained earlier, IÂ’m interested in your personal thoughts on other famous names in Sigil. If you donÂ’t mind, I would like to start with Neli La Meor.

NU: I donÂ’t mind at all. Lady La Meor, unfortunately, has something of a bad stigma and still suffers from it. I canÂ’t deny that she has engaged in questionable acts and hasnÂ’t made the best decisions, especially with those few sheÂ’s been romantic with, but she doesnÂ’t have a bad heart. SheÂ’s a victim of youth, I would say, unable to properly weigh the priorities and ethics that someone only five years her senior would. However, her heart is in the right place, I think sheÂ’s recently come to understand what I just described, and one can see from her involvement in E NOW that sheÂ’s trying to not only share her wealth and success with those who need it most, but make amends for certain indiscretions in her past.

LB: I canÂ’t help but detect a tinge of doubt in your voice. Do you think sheÂ’ll fail?

NU: Absolutely not, or at least not by her own doing. Lady La Meor is bizarrely confident in a certain individual that I think will ultimately become the undoing of E NOW.

LB: And who is that?

NU: The one who calls himself Phantom.

LB: Another famous adventurer. Why do you think heÂ’ll jeopardize Neli La MeorÂ’s efforts? Do you dislike Phantom?

NU: Not as such. In fact, I try to ignore Phantom. People like himÂ… irritate me.

LB: Would you mind elaborating?

NU: I suppose I don’t. There’s a certain type of people who are primarily driven by, well, a need to be recognized. It’s much like how I described belief to you in our last interview. These people believe in themselves and they desperately need others to believe the same. It’s an indication of an underlying lack of confidence, one that is typically veiled beneath monumental arrogance. Phantom is one of these individuals. He initially introduced himself to me as ‘One known as Phantom, Aspect of Shadow, and the Hand that Changes Fate.’

LB: [Laughs!] He didnÂ’t actually say that, did he?

NU: He did, and I’ve heard him say it to several others. Phantom is possessed by a need to be recognized for his self-perceived greatness, and that’s his sole motivator in all that he does. Take his involvement in E NOW – I’ve been following it and have had opportunity to speak with several key players, and they all share a similar observation in Phantom. If one questions his ideas, his approach to issues, then he becomes combative and defensive. Several individuals are considering separating themselves from E NOW as a direct result of Phantom’s behavior.

LB: ThatÂ’s interesting. Can you tell me who these people are?

NU: I can, but wonÂ’t. I wonÂ’t compromise trust for the sake of a story. All that matters is that you now have my, and othersÂ’, thoughts on Phantom.

LB: ThatÂ’s perfectly understandable. LetÂ’s move on, shall we? YouÂ’re often seen in the presence of Dom, and IÂ’m curious as to the nature of your propinquity.

NU: Dom is a close and trusted friend. In many ways, Dom is precisely what Phantom should be; powerful, influential, wealthy, committed to great deeds, but completely uninterested in self promotion. Because of his humor, easy friendliness, and complete lack of conceit, Dom has the admiration of many of the people that I consider to be SigilÂ’s finer individuals. And he has mine.

LB: ThatÂ’s kind of you to say. And what of your involvement with my intrepid colleague, Oerianna Vass?

NU: Oerianna and I share a common drive to see truth uncovered, and bring justice to those who need it most. ItÂ’s only natural that she and I would associate. Unfortunately we differ in our respective methods and work separately. But I wish her nothing but safety and success in all her endeavors.

LB: But she isn’t the only woman you’ve shared time with. In fact, if my sources are correct, you spend a great deal of time with women – only natural from a playboy, but I think my readers would like to know the nature of your relationship with them.

NU: My relationship varies. There is a group I described in an earlier interview that behaves like a bunch of twelve year old school girls – that group consists of Alista and Chiriu, among a few other periphery women. I regard them as being completely inconsequential. One of the periphery women, a winged one named Zilvai, is interesting, but is much too similar to Phantom in her quest to be seen for greatness. There are several others who are even worse than Zilvai and literally shove their self-aggrandizing opinions down one’s throat – Felicia and Kattarynne to name two. Some of the women who actually deserve note and respect are Maelfina, Alathra, Merogribo, Jaina, Pen, Nyrralah, and Narissa. Each of them is what I consider realistic in their need for attention, and how much they pay to others.

LB: I canÂ’t help but notice that youÂ’ve excluded one important name, Nero.

NU: Which name is that?

LB: Calliope.

NU: Ah.

LB: Ah? You know IÂ’m going to ask for more than that, why donÂ’t you make this easy on yourself?

NU: LetÂ’s just say that Calli knows better than anyone the difference between my harmless flirting and compliments, and what it actually means to be the focus of my attention.

LB: YouÂ’re being awfully vague with me, Nero.

NU: I apologize, but this is one relationship I would rather not jeopardize through publication. However, if she wishes to share with you, I wonÂ’t stop her.

LB: What do you mean? An interview with the women herself?

NU: If she allows it. IÂ’ll ask her for you.

LB: That could be interesting. But unfortunately I must see to my next appointment, if youÂ’ll excuse me? It was a pleasure as usual. Farewell.

NU: Good evening, Lana.

“Nero Urbane: Too Big for his Own Britches?”
~Column by Lana Bright

For the past several weeks IÂ’ve been interviewing Nero Urbane, a transient here from Eberron. In that short time heÂ’s managed to make a somewhat controversial name for himself. Playboy to some, benevolent avenger for others, arrogant sod to some more; opinions on Nero appear to change from person to person. Following last weekÂ’s interview, I received the succeeding letter and read it to Nero. Today weÂ’ll have a chance to hear his response to the varied rumors that fly around the man.

wrote:Well, aren't we a self-righteous, pampered and prepped up berk? Here's a dark for you: you're clueless. And you're called it for a reason! Being in the cage for under a month don't make you an expert. You're still clueless, you damn addle-cove. Here you sit with your interviewer, who probably bleeds having to talk to you, day in, day out. I sure helped you didn't I? Ha! You know I'm actually glad I can tell you this: do yourself a favor and stitch your lips, or you're going to really make someone angry you don't want. You've a very fast track on the "make an enemy" path. Matter of fact, you're already there. Congrats ye addle-cove.

All you do is sit there and yark, yark, yark, and more yark. Here's a thought: quit with the yarkin before someone sues your arse for libel, and that'd be getting off light, believe me. You're just another sour, so you can take that opinion of yours and stick it in your mouth, seeing as it's your arse that's all you be talking out.

Signed with love from your "bickering little girl,"

~Chiriu of Twilight

P.S. Pike it

Lana Bright: Good mornig, Nero. YouÂ’ve made some people angry, it seems.

Nero Urbane: Good morning, Lana. Yes, I expected I would.

LB: But you chose to say all of those things anyway. I have to wonder, why would you do that, knowing that your words would print?

NU: Mostly to unsettle the status quo. You see, thereÂ’s a strange lethargy about this place in that people think of others, whatever those others say of themselves. I wanted to introduce a little oil into the milk.

LB: And incite anger toward yourself in the process?

NU: It was inevitable, and I figured it would be far more convenient to call my social aggressors out in this manner than wait however long it would take for them to rise from the masses.

LB: IÂ… suppose I understand. Alright, so letÂ’s hear your response. And please be thorough.

NU: Of course. My address is for Chiriu. The Clueless: Folks that just don’t get it, usually primes. Use this on a planar and it’s likely there’ll be a fight. That’s the closest thing to an official definition of the term you’ll find. This term doesn’t apply to me. I could spend the next several hours preaching how the three alignment defined tiers of planes coincide within an all encompassing and simultaneously non-existent triad of non-aligned planes. But that would just bore you and the readers. Secondly, libel only applies to the publisher and if the print misrepresents the subject. Since everything I’ve said is true, and since S.I.G.I.S. opted to publish it for that very reason, libel doesn’t come into the picture. Let me remind our readers that I’ve only said three things – which are how Phantom introduces himself. Fact. My opinion, which I stated as opinion, to his personality type. And Alista’s and Chiriu’s incessant hugging and poking. Also fact. So, to our writer, I would like to say, thank you for your concern in this matter, but you should really familiarize yourself with the terms you toss around. This isn’t my first rodeo, certainly not my first relationship with a newsprint publication, and I’m quite safe from a legal perspective. Though you, Chiriu, might want to think twice about sending a letter containing references to an apparent enemy to a newspaper.

LB: I canÂ’t but notice that you didnÂ’t address her accusations of arrogance and such.

NU: WhatÂ’s there to address? Everyone is welcome to their own opinions.

LB: ThatÂ’s strangely gracious of you. Anything else you would like to add?

NU: Not really. IÂ’m afraid this has left a sour taste and IÂ’m going to cut this interview short. I hope you donÂ’t mind?

LB: Of course not, Nero. Hopefully our next meeting will be more positive.

NU: LetÂ’s hope. Good evening, Lana.

[Lana BrightÂ’s column appears a second time for this week, the day after her typical publication.]

“An Official Response to Interested Parties”
~Column by Lana Bright

My Dear Readers,

I would first and foremost like to express my sincerest gratitude for your patronage and the growing popularity of my column. I would not be successful today were it not for you. However, thereÂ’s been some concern lately regarding my interviews, and so I thought it would be nice to take a break and clarify a few matters for my more passionate audience members.

The absolutely most important thing that my readers must realize is that S.I.G.I.S. does not respond to threats. Any threatening materials or materials containing threats are immediately forwarded to the Harmonium for investigation. This action includes materials that threaten our sources. So please, practice some discretion when providing feedback.

ItÂ’s also important to understand that we have limited space to print SigilÂ’s daily and weekly news, and so weÂ’re carefully selective about what receives attention and publication. All unprinted materials are filed away for future use, should the need arise.

The last thing my readers must understand is that I write a gossip column. IÂ’m truly sorry from the very bottom of my heart if anything IÂ’ve written has offended anyone, but IÂ’m afraid that gossip is often controversial. If you dislike my column, I recommend that you send your level-headed commentary to my editor.

I hope this addresses your recent concerns and that IÂ’ll continue to provide you interesting gossip.

Yours and sincerely,
Lana Bright

“Nero Urbane Calls For a Cease Fire”
~Column by Lana Bright

For the last several days S.I.G.I.S. offices have been receiving complaints and responses addressed to Nero Urbane, an interviewee of mine who has kicked the proverbial hornets’ nest. Disparaging remarks he made regarding certain prominent citizens have caused some to not only challenge Nero’s validity and credentials, but to launch an outright assault against this publication. In an effort to ebb this rising tide of misgiving, Nero has provided me with an address, and S.I.G.I.S. has agreed to tender it – hopefully for the good of all.

Good Morning,

I’ll try to keep this clear and simple, as to avoid any further social mishaps. I would like to address Phantom, and other letter-writers, who have responded to Miss Bright’s column. I’ll start by pointing out that I did not threaten anyone. My comments were derogatory and unflattering but held no intrinsic danger for anyone – a kindness not shared by those of you whom responded. Perceived insults repaid with threatening implications – is that how mature adults operate? Specifically these threats have included libel and an apparent knowledge of my secrets, and a subsequent revelation of said secrets. Slander and libel don’t pertain to this situation. Had I accused anyone of business malpractice, illegal behavior, or anything of that nature, then I would be guilty of slander (because I spoke the words) and S.I.G.I.S. would be guilty of libel (because they printed the words.) However, these terms do not apply to personal observations of a person’s character. I would like you to sit back a moment and try to recall a single trial over one man’s poor opinion of another. As to these supposed secrets of mine that should be revealed – I have none. I have not one single dark secret that I wish to keep hidden, and any material a person believes is a dirty secret of mine simply isn’t. I welcome anyone to share any information they have on me, I prefer when people have a complete illustration.

To specifically address Phantom – you and I need to stop as of this moment. What was a bit of poor-taste gossip has snowballed into something that is hindering us both. I have suffered harassment from you and yours, and to be quite frank your response to S.I.G.I.S. was possibly the most damaging thing you could have done to yourself as it’s hard evidence of your weak grasp of this situation. The only facts within your letter are having witnessed me stripping away my clothes while accompanying a young woman to Elysium’s shores, and our earlier business arrangement of your hiring my investigative services. I would like to specifically point out a crucial fact to you and our readers: When you asked me whom I had questioned during said investigation, I responded by telling you that I do not ever disclose my sources, but I can tell you that I spoke to ten different individuals. I responded in the negative when you asked if Alista Jarino was among them. Alista’s was the only name mentioned, and so I find it fascinating that you were able to cross-reference my interviewees, and doubly fascinating that you remember my mentioning names. Phantom, I will not continue this game with you. It’s true that I harshly spoke of you during my discussions with Miss Bright, but now you have resorted to blatant fabrications. I will not address the insult of a man hiring another to investigate himself, the sheer audacity of presuming that you’re in a position to test me, or the arrogance of believing that any investigation into you is worth my time – I made my clientele perfectly clear, and you are not among them. I’ll also not address your weak grasp of the term “Detective,” as you seem to have confused it with the word “Spy.” I’m done with this, because despite my deliberate effort to never interrupt and interfere with your personal life, you have not extended me the same courtesy.

So I call an end to hostilities between you, yours, and myself. I retract and apologize for my offensive statements directed at Phantom, Alista, Chiriu, Zilvai, Felicia, and Katarynne. Additionally IÂ’ll avoid from making such defamatory remarks in the future. I trust this will satisfy all concerned parties.

Good Evening,
Nero Urbane

“Nero Urbane on Oerianna Vaas”
~Column by Lana Bright

After the backlash following my most recent interview with Mister Urbane, the playboy cheese monger released a statement, and purportedly apologized to offended parties on an individual basis. Likewise the rumors of rivalry between Mister Urbane and Phantom have all but vanished, and have since been replaced with heated debate over my own colleague, Oerianna Vaas, and her series of incendiary publications. Today I intend to hear Mister UrbaneÂ’s opinions regarding Miss Vaas, and perhaps glean some insight into the woman and her goals.

Lana Bright: Good morning, Nero.

Nero Urbane: LadyÂ’s grace, Lana.

LB: Oh, are we no longer wishing folks good morning as standard greeting?

NU: I thought it was time to allow some integration into Sigilian culture. IÂ’ve celebrated my one month arrival anniversary, after all.

LB: Has it only been a month? I suppose it has. But letÂ’s continue with the interview. Rumor has it that youÂ’re not only a friend of Miss VaasÂ’, but you were also one of the last to see her before she vanished from the public arena. What can you tell us about your relationship?

NU: Oerianna and I met right here, in KhazeetÂ’s tavern, when she first started circulating throughout the adventurers. She was immediately engaging, bright, attractive, and like all women of such caliber I paid attention due. When we discovered that we share a propensity for seeking and revealing truths behind crimes, we made note of it, agreed to pool our efforts if ever necessary, and continued our friendly socialization.

LB: Some witnesses report often seeing you two privately speaking, or leaving the bazaar together. Was Miss Vaas subject to your romantic efforts?

NU: People do love their gossip. Only one woman is subject to my romantic efforts, and she is not Oerianna. Nor was Oerianna subject to any other efforts. It is possible for a man and woman to privately engage in discourse without resulting in intimacy, even when the man is me – take our own interactions, for instance. I encourage your readers to pay less attention to my social activities, and more to their own.

LB: IÂ’m sorry, Nero. I wasnÂ’t implyingÂ… [Brief silence.] You know I have to ask these questions.

NU: ItÂ’s perfectly alright. Please continue.

LB: Very well. Thus far youÂ’ve described a rather platonic friendship and potential partnership between you and Miss Vaas. So IÂ’m curious how it is that Dom and yourself were apparently the last to see her before she disappeared.

NU: ThatÂ’s inaccurate. Technically an entire crowd of adventurers was the last to see her before she vanished.

LB: Literally! Since we both know that the figure youÂ’re referring to was only an elaborate illusion, can we please skip the fencing? Dom and yourself were the last to see the real Oerianna Vaas in flesh and blood.

NU: [Brief silence.] Yes, we were. I can’t attest to the other company that Oerianna keeps, but she apparently trusts Dom with her secrets and safety, just as she trusts me, and I trust Dom and her. This is the nature of likeminded friends, after all – trust.

LB: A friendship that must now be strained given her most recent publications and their antagonistic nature. How has her agenda altered your opinion?

NU: You presume much, Lana. I would first like to explain that while Oerianna’s publications are indeed antagonistic and fashioned to her agenda, I see no harm in it. What has she truly printed? Some defamatory articles regarding Rith – a highly suspect individual with a mercurial reputation. She’s also printed a few articles regarding E-NOW, focusing on the damages caused by the effort. Damages that have ceased – and been forgotten – in the short time since the movement has dwindled. Most recently she’s printed observations regarding Faction conflict and activity. And throughout all she has made it abundantly clear that if a correspondent or agitator oversteps themselves, she’ll publicize it. Oerianna’s methods are exceedingly honest and predictable. So I ask: Where is the harm?

LB: Many would disagree with you. The evidence is there for anyone who cares to look, Nero. Can you simply dismiss the growing unrest?

NU: No, I canÂ’t. But I donÂ’t see it as others do, or apparently you do. I perfectly understand that when entrenched figures are suddenly challenged, their natural instinct is aggression. In this case, the angered people in question apparently believe that theyÂ’re intrinsically necessary for SigilÂ’s well being and equate their bruised egos to a threat unto the people. I donÂ’t subscribe to this. If one wishes to be angry with Oerianna, so be it, but do it for the correct reasons. Not because someone may not see the same pedestal you place yourself upon.

LB: [Chuckles.] You just donÂ’t learn, do you? This is basically the same thing you said that angered so many people!

NU: Ah, but this time I’ve excluded names. And the spirit of the message is different. I challenge anyone who’s angry with Oerianna to take a step back from themselves and identify any damages that she’s actually caused. Note, I said that she caused. Periphery damages, such as the E-NOW debacle, can’t be blamed on her despite her involvement. E-NOW caused those damages. And it’s the same with the factions’ current situation. Oerianna incited nothing by clearly illustrating what the factions are already doing to themselves. The hostility surrounding her is nothing more than a desperate search for a scapegoat, someone on whom to blame misgivings – and unfortunately Oerianna is ideally placed as such a public and vocal figure.

LB: So you agree with what sheÂ’s been doing?

NU: I agree with it and wholly endorse it, Lana. Sigil needs people like Oerianna. She keeps others honest, keeps the people informed, and does a fine job of putting a muddy heel-print on the otherwise clean veneers of people who arenÂ’t actually that polished.

LB: Alright then. Thank you, Nero. Is there anything else you wish to say?

NU: Yes. If youÂ’ve ever claimed to be a hero, a champion for justice, freedom, righteousness, or any other benevolent person, your place is defending Oerianna Vaas. The people who wish to silence her arenÂ’t targeting a single woman; theyÂ’re targeting accountability, freedom of expression, and education of the truth. DonÂ’t let them win.

LB: Thank you again, Nero. I think this will do nicely. I look forward to seeing you again.

NU: As do I. Watch the spire, Lana.

“Adventurer Mambo”
~Column by Lana Bright

For as long as the Cage has turned, it has played headquarters to adventurers of every ilk. TheyÂ’ve become something of a necessary staple to Our Fair City, providing repeat business to crafters and services that may have otherwise flopped without the adventurersÂ’ need to spend hundreds of thousands of jink on trinkets such as potions, wands, and scrolls. We see them every day, traipsing through the Great Bazaar on their way to sample KhazeetÂ’s newest bub. TheyÂ’re impossible to ignore, shining in their armor and magic, swinging their swords about as if sharpened steel is the solution to all of lifeÂ’s problems. But what do we really know about them?

This reporter says: Not very much!

In an effort to address our ignorance, IÂ’ve spent the last week amongst them. IÂ’ve spoken with them, shared a drink or two, and heard their stories. WeÂ’ve laughed and bled side by side, and I believe that I have been able to glean something valuable from my experience. But to understand the answer, one must first understand the question.

What is an adventurer?

Trouble! To be perfectly clear and honest – they’re trouble. Just ask your local Dustman who is the most frequent denier of True Death. Adventurers. Ask your neighborhood Harmonium, whose infractions most challenge the war for harmony. Adventurers. Ask the Sensates who has given them a reputation for nymphomania. Adventurers. With all the trouble they incite, one must wonder why they’re even permitted within the Cage. Would our lives not be easier – more peaceful – without them? Maybe, but so far we’ve only asked a half of the questions and it’s wrong to paint such a stilted view. After you’ve heard all the Factions’ complaints, then take a stroll into the Hive and ask the closest beggar: Who gives you more jink than anyone else? Adventurers. Check around the Great Bazaar and ask the merchants who has single handedly kept them in business. Adventurers. Ask Khazeet who he has seen and heard trying to do the most good for Sigil, even if their attempts fall short. Adventurers.

The simple fact is that we need these people. They support our economy, protect us from threats, and let’s face it, they’re more entertaining than anything else Sigil has to offer. Having taken a closer look, I found them a bevy of laughable and admirable behaviors. Take the very word “adventurer.” They’ve abandoned it, will even protest against it. “I’m not an adventurer,” they say time and time again. Instead they’re scholars, warriors, hunters – as if the term adventuring is too broad and insulting for them. Yet each and every one of them will eagerly skip through the nearest portal and kill everything in their path for nothing more than a random boon or two, and the opportunity to perfect their war craft. But if asked, that’s not adventuring. It’s hunting. Whatever you call it, it’s a charming delusion perhaps born of their massive desensitization. These people have forgotten the nature of danger, proven by the dozens of casual discussions that break out while they’re killing whatever poor creature stands before them. In just a week I’ve lost count of how often strangers have encountered on the battlefield and stopped to converse as if they had met in a tavern. If that weren’t strange enough, more often than not they’ll continue on together, completely trusting their new companion with their safety and lives. To further drive the point home I had opportunity to ask one halfling adventurer what she does for fun. “I used to visit the Abyss,” she replied.

Despite their apparent insanity, I welcome any reader to find a more engaging, more entertaining, and more charming individual than any one of SigilÂ’s adventurers. Yes, theyÂ’re the source of endless trouble, and yes their behavior is nothing short of lunacy. But after spending just one week among them, fighting alongside them, feeling the electric surge of combat charging through my blood, falling before enemies and fighting to protect those beside me, I can honestly say that I understand. The lifestyle is a drug unlike any other that produces the most sinister villains and the most honorable heroes.

This reporter would even go so far as to say they make the world a more colorful place, if not a better place. I intend to spend the next several months working and living amongst them in an unprecedented attempt to truly understand and reveal the adventurer way of life. And hopefully, should I survive the perils of the planes and those that dislike gossip, IÂ’ll have opportunity to grant our readers an expose unlike any other.

“Calliope Rhell: Sigil is an Eye Opener”
~Column by Lana Bright

A little over a month ago I interviewed a Clueless named Nero Urbane, and that single chat developed into a controversial exchange that challenged Mister UrbaneÂ’s and othersÂ’ integrity. But this reporter has wondered what other Clueless think of Our Fair City, and so in an effort to address that curiosity IÂ’ve welcomed Calliope Rhell to my table. Today weÂ’ll hear what a Clueless woman has to say about Sigil, and perhaps peek into how a Clueless adjusts during their first weeks in the Cage.

Lana Bright: Greetings, Calliope.

Calliope Rhell: Hello, Lana. Always nice to see you.

LB: And you. Calliope, as a recent Clueless to Sigil, youÂ’re probably unaware, but the last month has seen a rare spike in Primer influx. Can you tell me approximately when you arrived and where from?

CR: ItÂ’s been about a month now, Lana. My home plane is a Prime known as Aegos, and I arrived via a portal in the Temple of Hermes.

LB: Hermes as in the deity of messengers and travel?

CR: Correct. From what IÂ’ve been able to surmise, His is the only true Temple that has managed to thrive in Sigil. Likely because His priesthood is smart enough not to actually try and play politics and draw the attention of the Lady.

LB: A fair observation. But it sounds to me as if your coming to the Cage was intentional. Or did I misunderstand?

CR: It was. On my world, the Priests know of portals, and Sigil, and the Great Wheel, even if the common folk do not. And as it turns out, planar travel is considered a rite of passage for those who wish to take on certain responsibilities, which led me here.

LB: Please describe these responsibilities that you wish to adopt.

CR: ItÂ’s called Consecration, Lana. Those ladyfolk who serve the gods, without actually taking the vows of priesthood. Servants of Olympus, you could say, who arenÂ’t tied to the Temples.

LB: Were you prepared for Sigil before your departure?

CR: [Laughs.] Oh, I thought I was. But I could not have been more wrong. I can see just how, um, provincial my home world is. So many things are taken for granted here in Sigil that to the common man on Aegos are considered myth, if not simply foolish stories to entertain children. Dragons, mind flayers, efreeti, and donÂ’t even get me started on tieflings.

LB: Of course I must now ask if you have an issue with tieflings, Calliope. Do you?

CR: Now? No, not now. But what you have to understand is, there is a small group of what I’m now certain are tieflings on my world, although they call themselves the Cursed. By my standards, they are evil – they take slaves, rule an empire with ruthlessness, and use magic that, although seemingly common here, only exists on Aegos in them, and use it to ferment wars.

LB: ThatÂ’s a very good demonstration of what sort of preconceptions a Clueless loses when visiting Sigil, and IÂ’m glad that you mentioned it. Aside from your newly broadened scope, can you tell me something about our city that you truly enjoy?

CR: Hrmm, that’s a good question. [Brief pause.] I’d have to say the sheer variety. In people, of course, but also in the places. You can walk from the Bottle and Jug to the Twelve Factols in an hour, and see the city literally change with each step you take. Hints of different races, different worlds, in every direction. And then of course the portals – I can sing in an echoing cave, swim in a pristine pool, or breathe crisp air on a high mountaintop any time I want.

LB: You paint a lovely picture of Sigil and the conveniences of the portals. But thereÂ’s also the darker side of Cage life, and so I must ask what is the counterbalance for a woman who so appreciates the zest and artistry of life.

CR: A simple realization. I donÂ’t have it within me to change Sigil, so if I focus on the bright spots, it keeps me centered. When I return to Aegos, yes, IÂ’ll see the need to stand up against those things that I find wrong, but here? When thereÂ’s open portals to the Abyss, to Baator? Not to mention, Nero does enough worrying about whatÂ’s wrong in Sigil for the both of us.

LB: Such is the nature of a man determined to right wrongs, no? [Light chuckle.] But since you brought him into our interview, I would be remiss if I didnÂ’t ask you the nature of your relationship.

CR: Friends, without a doubt. Lovers, yes, and I’d appreciate you not asking more deeply on that account. In a different time, a different place – who knows what we might be? But this is Sigil, and of course it’s going to affect us.

LB: What is it about yourself that seems to attract him more to you than to the other women he entertains?

CR: More? Oh, I donÂ’t know if thatÂ’s true, at least on the attraction scale. I do think, however, that the fact that we are friends first adds something more to it than trying to get me naked.

LB: [Light chuckle.] Friendship is important. Is there anything else you would like to add before we part ways?

CR: I donÂ’t think so.

LB: In that case, thank you very much for your time and insight. IÂ’m certain my readers will enjoy an intelligent womanÂ’s perspective. I hope we speak again soon, Calliope.

CR: I as well.