Calling all explosives experts

[*.O.]

Tomar smiled to himself as he placed the advertisement


Yo. We need all explosvies expertz to gome to Hive. We blowing up some fooking houzez, pooshing away Indeps and Anarchists, making our own houz, and takin' over.

Anyone get in our way, and we kill them like we did befor.

Signed

Domi Ligorsh,
Personal Secretary, Lover, and Boy-Toy of Vorgazar
Iron Tusk Clan

[*Darkrob]

Charles meets with Vorg in his office soon after this prints. He takes the copy of SIGIS, open to the page in question, and tosses it into Vorgs lap.

"Seriously? Are you Fokking Serious!? Do these underlings of yours not clear this shyte with you before running off to the paper?! THIS is not how we do business! I don't care what you guys do so long as it's done quietly... but a fokking advert looking for bombers!?! CRIPES!"

Charles takes a deep gulp of his drink

"Look, Vorgazar... I don't care what you gotta do but get these guys in line. They're making you look like a damn fool... if they want to run off to the media then it passes you first... and if you're uncertain... then it goes by me. This Shyte just ain't gonna cut it. Make this 'boy toy' of yours understand... I don't care how. Break his fokking hands or something..."

Takes another drink while looking out his window over the market.

"We're here to make money and earn some respect... not take flak due to clowns who post shyte in the paper. I don't care how... but fix it. This isn't a great start to what can be a great business relationship"

[*deusex2]

after reading the newspaper advertisement, Rylif sends two letters-one to Iron Tusk Clan and another to Khazeet's, addressing indeps.

The letter sent to Iron Tusk Clan reads as follows:

I've read your advertisement and I'm up for the job, assuming yu don't mind explosions caused by magic and assuming you can provide further details.

Like, what's the pay and how many buildings are we talking about?


signed: R

P.S. Please send the reply to Khazeet's.

[*Azulfae]

Vorg Looks at the Sigis blankly then back at Charles then at the sigis again, then back at Charles then back at the sigis then slowly gets up and looks at Charles then looks around at the other orcs.

"Can anyone read dis for me so I know WHUT DA FOOK IS GOIN ON?!"

The orcs all look at each other and shrug with blank faces.

Vorgazar pinches his temples and hands the paper to Charles.

"I know dis maybe is seem odd to youz, to a humanz, but is perhaps youz notice da lack of bookz and quills and shyte we got here and dats why I asked for someone who can does all dat kind of shyte like readin and writin and shyte for us. I din't know about dis whole fing cos none of us can fookin read isn't it!"

Vorgazar also picks up the note from Rylif, possibly having used it earlier to wipe his backside.

"Is dis important too?"

[*Darkrob]

Charles takes the paper and drops it on his desk. Walks over to his cabinet and pours himself another drink... also tosses an ale to Vorg.

"Well Chieftain... if this isn't from you then it looks like someone is trying to shyte on your plate"

The advert is briefly explained to the Orcs

"Seems SIGIS is being used to slander you... and judging by the response you've given me *holds up the other page* it seems to be working. Already some Berk answers it."

Takes a sip of his drink

"My advice... meet this "R" and find out what he claims to be. If he's connected to this then break his neck and dump him in the pond.

As for SIGIS... they'd know who posted this advert. They don't give ad space for free. I'll put someone on that. We find out who did it and we deadbook them. Simple."

*sips again*

"Make sure the paper knows... no Iron tusk posts anything without your okay. We don't want no more of this shyte happening."

He then turns to Vorg again.

"We'll get you a clerk... just be nice to him. They don't come cheap. Don't scare the shyte out of him while he's there"

[*Azulfae]

"No gobbers, elves, dorfs or pecks, better if it's not a womanz either cos youz know..." Vorgazar nods lots back in the direction of the other orcs with him.

"And not worry about any of dese lot makin any posts it just can't happen, dems wouldn't know where to start. Best any of dems dis wuz Donkey manage to write DOM once in da wall in himz own shyte but we puts a stop to dat and got himz to colour over it wif more shyte. I didn't want da other orcz laughin at himz for tryin to write or shyte like dat.

If I need somefink written anywhere from nowz on I gonna get da clerk to does it and da Sigis should know not to post nuffink from Iron Tusk unless it came from da Consortium innit."

Vorgazar turns to his Tus'Kor.

Hazul, Vrort, Yog, Bloodfang, Donkey and uh if youz see da womanz tell her too. Someone go to da Sigis and find out who payed for dat advert. When youz found out go find dems, rough dems up, put dems in a bag and bring dems to me. I need a broomhandle, a lemon, some curry powder, glue, sand, two silver forkz a sigil doughnut coin ...uuuuh... bah! fook it.

Get da Guulra back in Sigil.

Mister Charles, get dis new clerk of mine to write dat bloke who wanted da job a letter to come meet me at da Red Handz Butcher shop. Maybe we be sellin some special meat next week."

[*Azulfae]

Greetings, fellow indeps. If some of you read the newspapers than you should know that some of your Hive located brethren are in danger, by the hands of Iron Tusk Clan.

It bleeds my heart, to watch a like-minded faction facing such perilous situation all by yourselves. Therefore I'd like offer my assistance, should the need arise, for the right price, of course.

  I know we might have some differences, but now's not the time for petty arguments, so if you need my assistance, just leave the letter with answer at Khazeet's

                            -Your friendly tax collector, Taker-Rylif
*the letter is written with a completely different handwriting than the one, sent to Iron Tusk Clan*

Vorgazar is later read the above note from the Free League by Charles Vorgazar takes Charles advice and sits on this information for the moment.

[*The Lady With the Pet Dog]

*Oerianna frowns as she reads over the initial advertisement. In the following issue of SIGIS, she places this response referencing it:*


I am shocked that the other SIGIS staff would permit such a farce of an advertisement to be published - I pray it is due to a gross lack of oversight rather than lack of discrimination. Though we here at SIGIS believe in the right to free advertisement ( be it faction, sect, guild or otherwise) we do not condone the organization of unlawful, destructive activities.


I may die tomorrow, but the truth never will. At worst, it will remain hidden for a time,

-Oerianna Vaas

[*deusex2]

Another letter arrives to Iron Tusk Clan the next day, scarred messenger leaves it by the door, knocks and runs away.

So it seems some sod wanted to stir the troubles for your clan and I was the addle-cove who got caught I the middle of it. Well that changes nothing, because whoever has a gripe with you, he's obviously still out there.

And I'm still up for being hired.




the letter is signed with big letter R like the previous time, only this time, there are other letters added to it

Rudolf.

*the letter is written with the same handwriting like the first one, sent to the Iron Tusk Clan*

[*Azulfae]

The following happens in a few locations around the hive to people seen reading the Sigis.

Most people who this was done to likely have problems forming proper speach for several days.



[[The image of Fred Durst in this picture is representing my PC Donkey due to their similar features.]]