S.I.G.I.S. Sam

[*SIGIS Sam]

The people at SIGIS news would like our readers to give a strong Cager "How do you do, Berk?" to the newest member of our team, SIGIS Sam! SIGIS Sam has done work for us in the past, usually on small local events or the occasional artistic contribution; however, starting this week, he has a full member! So, without further adieu, herrrreeeeee's Sam!




How diddly do to you readers! I'm SIGIS Sam and I promise to bring you the the inside scoop of the latest news within our own favorite kip, Sigil. I'm dedicated to bringing you the crisp, unadulterated truth of everything interesting and noteworthy. Excited to get started? I know I sure am!


DROW ARE INFESTING OUR CITY!

Am I the only one who's noticed how many drow have been crawling out of their holes lately? The Cage seems to be swarmed with them! It's not if we didn't need the extra drama here already, but these mushroom-eating, snotty, whip-toting, spider kissers have been infesting all of Sigil's darkest places and causing general mayhem for the productive members of our community. Why, just last week reports from the Clerk's word tell of an attack, in broad daylight might I add, by a particularly dramatic and offensive Matron (Arn't they all?) by the name of Salhistra. A couple of SIGIS informants say that this attack was provoked when a resident Tiefling going by the name "Tyria" commented on the "Slutty" attire sported by the drowess.

I don't know about you folks, but I don't think we need this sort of element littering our streets any longer. If the local law around here was worth the price of a Hive Ward Jinkskirt, I might petition them to do something about it. Alas, we are left to fend for ourselves.


WEALTHY MERCHANT LOOSES ANGRY FIENDS INTO THE CAGE!

So, does anyone besides me pay attention to what goes on in our academic circles? If not, you might want to start! A recent study was published by the so-called "Intellectuals" from the "Wand and Scrolls Academic Society" that claims to know the dark behind getting lower planers to be more agreeable. Yeah, like anyone here wants to rub elbows with THOSE guys! To make matters worse, one of the authors is none other then the popular arms-dealer, Neli la Meor (boo! Hiss!). This is the same Neli la Meor that let loose her killer attack dolls on our unwitting public a few days back, and it appears she isn't done causing destruction and death to our good city. If you ask me folks, shes using this knowledge to "negotiate" with demons and has allowed them to possess those ridiculous dolls she passes out. Want my advice?! DON'T ACCEPT THEM! Better yet, shop somewhere else. I hear Brot and old man Chardon are giving her a good run for her money these days...


CRIMSON EAGLES STILL LOOKING FOR BASHERS FOR A RAID!


Advertised in older editions of SIGIS news, the Crimson Eagles are in the final steps of planning their raid on the Lower Planes. They are still looking for able-bodied bashers, but you better hurry! They are leaving soon, so act fast.


HOPE FOR THE HIVE WARD'S HOPELESS


Seems like a tiefling by the name of (name not yet determined) has a set of big brass ones. The lass took it upon herself to reopen a orphanage kip going by the name of "Larrick's Shelter". I certainly remember the history of that place! I've lost count how many times that place has been raided and attacked. Lets not forget that the previous owner, a mercenary going by the name of "Fargul", is a wanted criminal and said to have gone completely insane. While I got nothing against trying to help the needed, if you ask me, this place is better left as rubble - the fracking place is cursed! My hat is off to this mystery tiefling however - our fine city needs more people who are willing to put themselves in harms way for the betterment of others.

***
Well, thats it folks, I hope you enjoyed the first edition of SIGIS Sam's editorial. If you have a topic you'd like my opinion about, a matter investigated, or even a person interviewed, come on by and let us know! See you next week!

SIGIS Sam's Quote of the Week:

"Give a guy a break, and end up broken!"

[*Mabus]

he has a full member!

((OOC: did he see a doctor about that and get it fixed?? :P (sorry, had to) :P ))

[*Agony_Aunt]

((Great post! Whoever you are... you win an internet for this. Keep it up!))

[*SIGIS Sam]

I'd like to thank everyone for all your lovely mail (and the battery of lawyers Miss Meor sent) in response to the 1st edition of SIGIS Sam's editorial. In gratitude, I swear to continue to bring quality news for the people of the Cage.

MERCHANT CONGLOMERATE PLANS AUCTION!


Several prominent merchants in the Clerk's Ward seem to be planning an auction for adventurers soon, with promises of magic bags full of arcane trinkets! Those of you with a little extra coin to spend might want to take the time to check it out. The last our reporters heard, the Auction is later today and is planned to last for a while.


MONK SLEEPS WITH CORPSE, SPURNS LOVER, AND GET SERENADED BY A HALFLING!


I don't know about you folks, but for me, this is one of the more bizarre events I ran across in recent days. Yeah, yeah, I know the Cage is full of bizarre event, but this one had me scratching my head.

The word on the street is that a well respected man going by the name "Wren the Monk" was caught sleeping with a corpse. The matter was made more dramatic when Wren's jealous lover found about the scandalous affair. The two had a shouting match right there on the street which caught the attention of a mysterious, masked halfling who then decided that was a perfect time to profess his undying love and admiration for the promiscuous monk, through prose and interpretive dance.

Wren, if your reading this, I would normally say "Keep it in your pants, friend", but instead, I'd like to "thank you" for this amusing, amusing tale.



RUMORMILL: PIT FIEND, MEET MY BALOR DRINKING BUDDY!


So, I decided to stop in and get a drink at the Ye' Old Foul, and I saw the damnedest thing; A horned devil sharing a drink with a Hezrou ~politely~ discussing commonalities between their two peoples!

Excuse me, but...what the hells?!?!

No! Demons and devils have been fighting for our entertainment for endless eons now, and I, for one, have no desire to see that end. Oh, sure, Sigil is "neutral ground" and they are not supposed to bring the Blood War into it, but seriously? "Commonalities between their two peoples?!" Has the carnage in the lower planes become so stagnant that they have time to discuss what they have in common in a friendly chat? Whatever. I prefer my fiends fighting, thank you.




Character Profile

Because SIGIS Sam and SIGIS in general care so much about our fine city, and the people in it, I am going to try and include character interviews every once in a while to try to keep us in touch with the community and the people in it. If you, the readers, ever would like to see someone specific interviewed, please let us know - this is something I would like to see become a habit in SIGIS News!

Our first profile will be over a local primer paladin-turned-Merchant-Captain. Some of you might know him for his works in the Hive Ward where he benevolently has started an education program for the under-privileged. Others know him as the "Guy who cut down Hildmor and lived to tell the tale". SIGIS decided to offer its readers a more in depth look at such a rare paragon of goodness.






CORWYN LUX

SIGIS SAM: I just want to thank you for accepting this interview with me, Mr. Corwyn - or wait, its Captain Corwyn now, isn't it? Congratulations on that by the way.


CORWYN: It is no trouble at all. Thank you, indeed, I was recently made captain of Crimson Guard, but I am fine with simple 'mister' as well. *he chuckled softly* Titles were never that big thing for myself


SS: You sound like a satisfied man, Mr. Corwyn. There must be a lot of "perks" to working for a company like that. How about telling me a little about yourself.


C:I try my best. Well, what's there to tell... I'm man of faith, much like many other and under servitude of Heironeus and his church whose message I spread through actions. Originally I come from prime which I believe is called "Oerth". And... Well as mentioned before I'm also recently become part of Crimson Guard in position of Captain. As personality I'd like to consider myself patient and benevolent, but that is in the end not for me to judge.


SS: And are your reasons for being in Sigil religious? Or do you have some other agenda for the good people of the Cage?


C: Yes. Originally I came here under assignment of church of Heironeus to spread the word of Heironeus, through actions... not by preaching. Though after realizing the condition in which Sigil is in, it has come also more personal task than only religious purpose to improve the way of life.


SS: Where do you and the other corporate fat-cats plan hope to focus the bulk your efforts in the future?


C:The Hive Ward is the most visible site of poverty currently and thus gets my main concentration, but I do not cast blind eyes to any other location or people in Sigil.


SS: Are you a man whose willing to "take hostile action" if need be?


C: Definitely, my main purpose is not only charity or education, but overall bring security of life. Everyone deserves right to walk through the streets ~safely~ and food on their everyday table.


SS: That was a little brazen, Mr. Corwyn. But I suppose being backed by a corporate giant would make me bold too. Could you tell me a little about that? Did the rich billionaire tycoon offer you money personally or make generous donations to your church?


C:Of course, and it was not my original idea to take part of any form of business or faction. However my cause while a noble cause is also a costly one, lady La Meor offered to support my cause economically if I would become a captain to her guard and if we two would be partners in our to become project in Hive ward. I took it under consideration before making a choice but in the end it seemed like I had nothing to lose at the moment, so I agreed in terms that my main allegiance still lies on Heironeus and his church."


SS: Arn't you worried that there is some hidden business interest behind this?


C: Well I can only speak for myself of course, but I am certain even lady La Meor and Sensbanes would wish the way of life of those in Hive ward would improve.


SS: So, whats it like being the newest corporate mind-zombie?


C: I cannot say it is in the end much more different than what I am already used to. And in the line of work which I handle, a boring day means a good day. That is of course not to say that I am bored or unsatisfied with the position. So to put this short, I am quite satisfied for being able to do what I'm trained to do despite it being time consuming.


SS: There are a lot of people who might object to the influence of "Big Money" playing around with the lives the good people of the Hive Ward, do you wish to say anything to those people?


C:I am not sure there is anything I can say without knowing their situation to change their opinion. If anything, I'd wish to invite them to discuss with me.


SS: Some people say that the crime problem in the Hive Ward is a result of destitution, and not necessary because those people are just inertly "bad". Are you willing to work with these so called "Thieves and criminals" to fix things there?


C: I prefer to understand and let those that oppose me to understand my view. It is my hope the matter can be discussed through, though I will not submit to demands of thieves or criminals. If we cannot find resolution that suits both, then I will do what I must.


SS: Do you have any parting shots, or advice you'd like to share before I leave?


C:There is one - Heironeus, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference."


SS:Thank you Mr. Corwyn, for your time.

SIGIS Sam's Quote of the Week:


The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell.

[*Uneatable Financier]

*An article is written to S.I.G.I.S. as reply*

Reply To SIGIS Sam
[size0]By Corwyn Lux[/size]

Salutations Sam,

It was not long ago when we met and you made an interview to myself, perhaps you remember and perhaps you do not, but having read the latest published article, I see there to be an error in the questions written down.

My answers were properly quoted, however these were not the questions I was answering that were written down. I take it you may have had a mix up in your notes while writing this article?

I do not mind much what people think of myself, that is not my business, but I fear such misuse of words could create dents in the already delegant peace of Sigil.