Sigil: City of Doors

In some middle section, written in an educated hand lies a small extract taken from some curious advertisement regularly noticed in the Olde Spirit Inne which reads:

'Planar criminal investigator and bounty hunter available for employ. Please contact Muriel at the Foul Olde Spirit Inn with details concerning the case for the investigator to peruse. Details shall remain private and, upon receipt, one shall recieve word and summons to the investigators office.'

It's perfectly clear to any who read this that the investigator wishes to maintain his identity. Underneath the advertisement is a seal though, twin feathers crossed over a leaf.

(( Ic'ly Pm me with character alias or name, depending on which you'd prefer and a brief outline of the case for Malekyth Illithana to start investigations xD ))

The following is an advertisement, brought to you by Slick Jericho:

Greetings to all ye cutters and yer respective powers:

Does your power receive the worship of millions?

Are they by chance bored with the continuous listenin' ta berks wantin' more jink?

Does the ability to appear many places at once STILL leave that last bit o' melancholy in their minds?

When ya get down to it, do they just need a real vacation?

Well drop to yer knees and give this bit o' chant:

I got the answer right here!


That's right, it is the start o' Slick Jericho's Relive All Powers of Extraneous Religious Servitude. Here at R.A.P.o.E.R.S. we ask for a temporary, contractual subsidization of various powers, purviews and portfolios of the mega-cutter lookin' for that bit time off, to be reassumed in no more than a week. Prices vary on responsibility delegated.

Things we can do for you:
1. All those prayers you don't wanna answer, but still gotta anyway? We can hack that with a bit o' trans-inter-ference
2. Holy war goin' slow? Our Divine Power random recipient outsource program can help pick things up in no time!
3. Congregation bein' a bunch o' hypno-critical back stabbin, donation takin, grey waste rejects? Pass us the reigns to divine justice (and a beginner's guide to yer creed o' course) and watch the plagues/lightnin' bolts/locusts fly!

All these and more (subject to Sigil access restrictions and liability) are things we can offer at R.A.P.o.E.R.S.


Here are some quotes from satisfied customers:

"Blorp"
-Green Gelatinous Cube in Sigil Bazaar

"..............."
Lady o' Pain (Not bein' mazed or flayed is all the proof one needs)

"Argh! It worked!"
Targeticus, the small god of small gods disguised as goblins being shot by half drow archers (posthumous)

The next edition of S.I.G.I.S holds a response to Malekyth's advertisement by Malek himself

Due to unforseen circumstances I am no longer able to work as a Criminal Investigator and so shall remain a bounty hunter for hire.