Amorphis Saturnus

[*Aeternus]

A white masked female figure, exploration through the lands of demons and devils, a womanÂ’s scent filled with earthly smells wraps around me like a vine, a friend, losing his path. Too many feelings, too many thoughts but I feel stronger within now. My focus is beyond that of a day now, I can almost sense the future and even have goals. My soul seems stronger and my body as well.

My father was wrong, I proved it and will prove it more. He was wrong just waiting ‘True Death’ in his deathbed doing nothing.

It took me much time and effort, but I managed to have a contact with him. He remembered my name, he gave me stories about my father. For some strange reason he was addressing me with the name of my father. Anger filled my mind and body but my will has grown stronger now, I resisted. He kept addressing me with my fathers name till the end, though.
He provided me with answers iÂ…didnÂ’t want to see, and at that moment I accepted.

Something awaken within me that night.

My body filled with energy, my mind cast away many thoughts of darkness, my soul felt released from destinyÂ…Its only the beginning i sense thus i have to be careful and control it.

But there is always a price, a price I will avoid to pay. I managed to do this once, I will manage to do it again. Its nothing wrong with claiming your own freedom or your own path to forge your own future.
My research already shows promising results in counteracting, but my work must continue. I might need even a lab but where to find so much jink or a secluded place for it?

The worse thing is the anger. I have to do something about this soonÂ…maybe the wounds will heal now..i hope it all was for the best.

“seasons come and seasons go
what will come you'll never know
future is a mystery...
for this lock there is no key;
And i will survive while you die,
i will survive while you die...”

[*Aeternus]

Last night something strange happenedÂ…
I had a dream, actually a nightmareÂ…
I cant even remember the last time I dreamed and actually could remember anything of it.
But last night was differentÂ…

I was walking into a graveyard looking the names of the tombstones, but they were all blank, endless graves. The moon was bright and there were no sounds except that of mild breeze. I was looking for something so I kept searching. The moon colors started to swift towards red, I got anxious like my time was about to end. I started running and looking, my body was strong yet my right arm was in great pain.
For a moment I felt almost ready to faint and I become dizzy when I saw that grave. It was simple, so very simple not even made of stone, just a pill of earth with a wooden tablet. My heart almost stopped when I read the tabletÂ…Omnoy Saturnus

I looked at the tablet terrified, I could barerly even breathe. And then a whisper came from inside the grave..a whisper that made my heart almost stop.
I leaned and put my ear in the grave trying to understand the whisperÂ…

“Our bloodline is to disappear, you are the last one…
becoming what we were, can only bring pain my son.
Death binds us all, it forgives and forgets… makes us all equal”
Don’t become a monster, my son”

I stand up and start running towards the reddish moon, not looking backÂ…always ending up again into that dreadful cemetery., exhausted I passed outÂ…waking up.

It seems there are more unpleasant reactions in the awaken state than I thought. My lad is far from finishing, and my research is now on halt as I have to place to continue. The nightmare was really intense and I am terrified of not having control over it.
Someone plays with my mind?
I have to find out if my fatherÂ…stayed dead. Dustmen must have some record.
I will need that mask from the noble tiefling soon otherwise things might get out of hand.
Only the idea of those waterfalls give me some piece of mind in these momentsÂ…
Maybe something that could block me from dreaming would be useful as well.
I cant stop now. My coughs almost disappeared, even some wounds healed. I have to continueÂ…stay standingÂ…

“From the dark age the passage hail
Created by witchcraft and hate
Where every sinner will meet his fate
...The place is cursed by the hands of doom
Unholy powers in reign
The demon's paradise of pain”

[*Aeternus]

The altar has fallen.
I had enough with those fanatics and their blind anger. Everyone was killed even their deva leaderÂ…that was refreshingÂ…

No additional substance was required to control my anger and that was good to know.

Everything would be just perfect if it wasnÂ’t of that Â…unwillingness to sleep after all this. No matter how much I tried I was too agitated to sleep. And when I didÂ…must have been just for few minutes and I awoke from a sharp pain on my shoulder just of find an undead minion of some short above me ready to bring down its scythe towards meÂ…
Just in time I managed to escape the blow and retaliate reducing its skeleton body into dust.

What in the nine hells was that? An assassination attempt? A warning of some sort?
The words spoken to me in my dreams came back to meÂ…what is going on?
Answers rarely come by and I find myself lonelierÂ…as time goes by. I miss the caravan and the stories told to me by my vistani brothers..ironic but even the stories I cant much recall anymoreÂ…not even what happened to them...
But that is no problem. Never was, neverÂ….

[*Aeternus]

After some time i managed to acquire some potent blood. The blood of the Spear Lizard will provide additional information in my experiments fusing it with some demon blood. If things progress as I expect it will quench my thirst for some timeÂ….It seems the whole thing is getting addictive.
Everything comes with a cost doesn't itÂ….?

I will control it ... I will. My talks with the Noble well-traveled Tiefling seem to go as planned. The item, at least for the time, seems within possibility. A chunk of temporal silver is required however. I am planning to contact a couple of people I trust and ask if they can provide.
She is too wise and too knowledgeable, she is almost scary. I feel far from comfortable trusting her butÂ…I wasnÂ’t able to locate anyone else able to help towards that end.
I had to make a strong effort interacting with her and for some reason my anger was triggered highly.
Is there something within me I donÂ’t know yet or is she the cause? Is it her blood maybe? her heritage? or her mare words?

I just hopeÂ…there is enough time to put all the pieces together.

Sometimes I get the feeling I am becoming more enslaved than I was beforeÂ…but I know itÂ’s just not the truth. I just have to keep this a bit longer, just a bit longer so I can have the strength to fight both.

Rain without end
This is a dead run
Desperately lacking the light of a sun
All it can be
A dead world revealed
Only to those who can never be free