Lhea Gheister

[*Bleuception]

This first post is meant to be a placeholder, for when I will actually fill in an actual profile. However, I'm starting off this thread in order to post, following this first one, Lhea's journal, which I've already begun writing.



Basic Information
Name: <The name of the character>
Aliases: <Nicknames or what name is known for the character>
Gender: <Male/female>
Race: <race of your character... human/sun elf...>
Age: <age in years, not everyone knows specific age however>
Profession: <what does your character do for living?>
Languages: <what languages your character knows>
Accent: <does your character have different kind of accent?>

Physical Information
Height: <your characters height>
Weight: <your characters weight>
Body build: <your characters body build... muscular.. skinny.. trained..>
Skin type: <your characters skin type... smooth..silky..rough>
Hair style: <your characters hair style... ponytail.. short and neat..>
Scars: <does your character have scars? any significant ones worth mentioning?>
Tattoos: <does your character have tattoos?>
Colouring:

• Hair: <color of hair>
• Eyes: <color of eyes>
• Skin: <color of skin>

Mental Information
Alignment: <general alignment of your character>
Philosophy: <how does your character view world? "Every living being is sacred and deserves another chance even if they make severe mistakes" as example>
Deity/Beliefs: <Does your character follow any deity or believe to some other cause?>
Personality:

(examples)
• CautiousTries to always have back up plan, and not get killed.
• SecretiveTells as little of his intentions and himself as possible.
• CarefulDeal with problems without dirtying own hands. (use cohorts/deceive others to do your job)

Additional Information
Gear: <does your character always wield any significant gear?>
Jewelry: <rings, earrings, neclaces and such that your character wears>
Habbits/hobbies: <smoking, drinking, fishing...>
General Health: <Current health of your character... suffering from old age.. perfect health...>
Favorite Drink:<your characters favorite drink.. spirits.. ale.. wine.. something else>
Weaknesses: <does your character have any weaknesses? Addicted to alcohol/drugs.. fear of dark...>

[*Bleuception]

Entry One

I've spoken with Tzenka after we went on a bout of planeswalking together; we defeated a number of tanar'ri and invading baatezu within the Abyss, fighting for neither sides of the Blood War. We were targeting smaller groups or scouting parties; nothing we couldn't take by the two of us, engaging in brief, but violent skirmishes.

We spoke of silly things, and we spoke of matters of love and friendship. I echoed upon the words Arwa told me, and Tzenka added an interesting perspective to it; love is something people want to defend. When you love something, you will want to defend it. And it makes sense that I would want to defend my progress, virtues that I try to acquire. That I would protect myself -- and that was my first reaction. Saying "Myself?" as though it wasn't obvious at first that loving oneself was a good motivation to keep going.

She explained brief (and in her own way) that people usually love more than just their own person. I said, in response, that I like cats. So, I could protect those little fuzzballs. They're cute, and animals. It's not like they understand with the same depth the multiverse, so ending up lost in Sigil has to be scary for a cat.

The discussion went, and eventually I concluded that friends is what I should work towards. A small family of friends to love. To cherish and protect. That is something I can understand, at least.

Which has lead me to try and contact a--




Entry Two

It's been a while. I have to try and keep this up more frequently.

Life has changed. I have friends. A few, at least.

Arwa, Daniel. Perhaps R'ena even considers me a friend? Jill seems to have taken a slight liking to met, and indulged me in my desire for some cuddling -- which works as a good enough substitute to being embraced by others. Not love, not sex... But it's just nice to be held.

I've started baking bread. Making food is odd, but it's a calm enough activity. Arwa is encouraging with the notion of it, and said she would even buy it. I won't let her; she repays me in a ways that don't need coins, only with her listening. Her advices. The jokes, and laughs. The puns. It's well worth a bit of bread.

My first unburnt bread was passable. Dry, though.
My second one was a banana bread recipe, which turned out moist and nice tasting. Some more exotic fruits can be costly to get in Sigil though, so I have to look at the prices carefully before committing to buying those.

Except now the Gymnasium has a surplus of bananas. Woops!(?)


I've been in a weird spot this cycle. I woke up feeling like my wings weighed me down instead of making me lighter, and carrying me.

I remember that last cycle I spoke with Arwa and Dan. It started with a conversation about the Harmonium's methods, and moved on to... The planes. My perspective of it. How sick I am of the conflicts, of the wars. Inside, I feel the rush, I feel the draw destruction and corruption still has on me. I desire to do it. I want to participate. I am a succubus, arguably not meant for war, but all tanar'ri have it in their blood to want this desolation. It's... Electrifying. Energizing.

Perhaps one of the reasons lightning seems to not affect us. We're already electrified by our own blood.

I struggle, and I feel weaker as the cycles go on. It was subtle at first, but I haven't drained somebody in a long time, and it feels a bit like withdrawal. Not to mention that I have hardly fought in any way whatsoever these last few. I feel listless, and lethargic.

I need something new to find energy. Arwa often prays with her chants in this language called midari miduni meerrani

Something. It's called something. Perhaps praying would do me good? Not at the Temple of the Abyss, however. I have to find something else. Something to believe in, perhaps something that can make me closer to the Cadence.

[*Bleuception]

Entry Three

I am tired of these wings.

Everything feels weird. I woke up this moment with them feeling heavy again. Dulled and not feeling much in them.

I just feel like a bird in a cage. What use is there to have wings when they cannot lift you up any longer? The imagery of a bird in a cage being freed feels like a lie. Birds are kept in cages as pets because their owners care for them, feed them, and love them. People wouldn't keep bird along with themselves if they did not have affection for them.

Yet I am a cageless bird that uses her wings to always return to a prison that was, at first imposed upon me. This imagery is a lie. If I could use my wings to join those I appreciate, those I want to like... I wouldn't feel so bad about it.

But now. The only purpose that they serve is making me fly high above or far below them. Never on the same level. Never close enough to be with them.

I want to cut them off. Being a flightless bird loved is better than a flying mote of corruption suffering and making others suffer.

A fiendish existence is more torturous than my kin likely realize.


The freedom to hurt is not a freedom I want.

[*Bleuception]

Entry 4
-->The following is written in Abyssal, the Barazhad letters scratchy and uneven.

[+] Spoiler

I think it's about time I do a few changes.

For one, I'm glad I managed to make some good friends. Two half-angels! I guess that would mean that I'd have cause one full angel to fall once I drag them down with me? Arwa is a saint, it won't be easy with her, but Dan I already have wrapped around my finger. It shouldn't take too much to start affecting his behavior. In time, they will be my minions... I will keep them like a pet, as I will with Jillian. She is very free willed and hard to catch, however, so perhaps starting by corrupting her subject of interest will eventually make her drown in it. And Helkin... Sweet, sweet Helkin. Already so malleable, so willing to associate with creatures like a Slaad mercenary. It won't be much of a jump to pick between one form of chaos over another.

If they don't submit, I will have to... I will have to?

Kill them?

... No.
I won't. I can't do that.

Entry Four
The Real One.

I stumbled. The above is false.

More on that later. I'll update my journal once I sort something out.


Addendum; I delivered a Quasit to the Harmonium.

Said little tanar'ri had actually been stalking me for a bit of time, and through quite suggestions and the help of an amulet, planted these ideas in my thoughts. At least, I saw no symbols on it that associated it with She Who Extracts Wails, my former mistress, a more powerful tanar'ri than I in the service of the Queen of Succubi.

An experimenter. A torturer.

That being said, it seems like this Quasit's plan was to bring me back to the abyss, and through me my corrupted friends. It just wanted to get more powerful. Shed the small body of a Quasit and become more within the abyssal masses.

I could have killed it. But my first thought, oddly enough, was to bring it to one of the most order Factions of Sigil. It wasn't hard to bind it with a bit of rope from my pack. Despite this hiccup, I am still changing, and for once my reaction wasn't to rely on myself and my own means, but rather trust the Hardheads with this.

It was a bit comical. The quasi's face turned to owlishly widened eyes when it realized my trajectory brought us towards the Harmonium.

It took a bit of effort, but I stayed patient and explained that I caught the little pest stalking me, and after wrestling the amulet from it, gained a better understanding of it's magic; suggestive powers to alter the actions of others. A Harmonium arcanist confirmed my words and we were both interrogated.

I remained truthful in the Zone of Truth of that was set around us. I had no reasons to lie.

The quasit tried to lie, and eventually let slip it wanted this business to be over with so it could go on with its other business.

Turns out the Harmonium was very interested in learning what other business it spoke of, especially since he had and used this amulet in an unsanctioned manner. Let's just say I never saw a Quasit go that pale before, but I'm glad I did.

They held me within the precinct-place-thing for a while longer, but my questioning stopped eventually and while watched, I was let go and thanked for bringing in "this criminal", they said. I told them I was happy to help and that it had been a worthy investment of my time.

That felt good. Killing it would have been instant satisfaction, but short lasting. And... It would've been falling back on fury, anger.

Instead, I turned it in causing as little chaos as possible.
I'm proud of myself. I did well today.

[*Bleuception]

Entry Five
1st Guild of The Pivot, 134Ha


Oh heck, look at that, an actual date written on this entry. Fancy.


Things happened since last entry. Changes rushed up at a frenetic pace which led to a rather dramatic, and painful physical change.

I am not a true succubus anymore. I am still tanar'ri, of that there is no doubt. But, my wings melted when I tried my best to disassociate myself from my abyssal sorcery. I felt like using such magic that ran deep in my blood was promoting the Abyss, in an indirect way. True or false, I know not. But good riddance either way. I am now more in line with what I perceive of my inner self than I ever was before. Besides, wings are kind of awkward on a humanoid body if you ask me. Sure, they allow flight, but I'm no bat. Convenient for the while it lasted, though.

On the plus side, getting those silly things stuck on everything and anything is not an issue anymore.


My back still has the scars of it, gnarled and ugly. I lost a lot of muscles in my back so I've been trying to exercise carefully, and soon might end up having to do some physical therapy. I'm no physician, but I can tell that having extra limbs like wings took a lot of muscles along my back. It's been weird. Being in my natural form (I haven't tried to change shape since) without my wings threw off my center of balance tremendously. Leaning forward had me faceplant a few times, so I'm being careful. Probably... Doesn't help that the frontal bumps stayed the same size and weight. Anyway.


Daniel -- my gentle Einherjar -- he's been tending to my wound since he returned from Ysgard. I have to commend the staff of the House of Healing as they do excellent work, and I've enjoyed their care, but... Despite all the professionalism, I didn't feel comfortable staying there for too long. Staying inside of this pristine white place made me stir-crazy, not to mention that I could still walk and just do my things so long I didn't do anything wild and demanding physically. So, letting somebody else occupy my spot seemed like the right thing to do. Still, a little dose of Positive Energy every so often does help combined with Dan's non-magical healing. I am well on my way to recovery.


Also... We kissed. Dan and I. It's the first time I kiss without feeling the urge to thoroughly rend the soul and life essence of another. It was enjoyable, feeling this... Voracious hunger, gone. Being rid of this. Being able to actually show that I am affectionate for him. That I love him.


It's still a strange thing to me, but little by little, I begin to understand what it means to cherish another. And like Arwa told me, it's unconditional. It's a willingness to give without expecting anything in return. It's pure. Pure like those moments of "action trance" us Ciphers can call upon, where thoughts and actions become one unique entity instead of two separate parts of a being. That's how I admitted it to him, too. I just did. I told him. No fluff. It's what I thought, felt and knew, so why make a grand ceremony out of it?

It is so. And it is as it should be.


On a light note, that new haircut and re-envisioning of my clothes' aesthetics does seem to appeal to him. Good, too! The Ysgardian styles have much to appeal in the rugged, wild, yet caring and attention-to-details ways. Funny that people know them to mostly battle incessantly for glory when they produce items that exude both raw power and pleasant elegance.

Those Norse boys and girls have style. The Aesir are lucky to have them.


Additionally, R'ena has provided us with studying materials regarding engineering and mechanical works. I'm intrigued, and after oogling those things a bit I think I understand a few things better. At least, disarming mechanical contraptions and traps seems like a feasible option for me now. It's fun to tinker.

Maybe firearms could be a thing, too? The Giff are more commonly seen in spelljamming endaevours, but they use such weapons. Since I lost my magic, but certainly not my aim, marksmanship is to be considered. Just, not with longbows. Front bumps make that difficult, to put it mildly.

Or I could use my enchanted sling; Chorus enchanted the sling whereas R'ena made and enchanted my ammo box of byeshk bullets. Which is funny, since now those bullets are about as loud as firearms due to the sonic enhancement.