Amorphis Saturnus

[*Aeternus]

Basic Information
Name: Amorphis Saturnus
Aliases: --Names have no meaning I am here and now.
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 28 (although his track of time was severed after the first few months upon arrival in the lands of the mists)
Profession: As a child he used to assist his father at the Morgue, in the embalmment of recently dead and keeping their ‘records’.
Languages: Infernal, Draconic,
Accent: --

Physical Information
Height: 1,80 m
Weight: 75 kg
Body build: Slim with average muscular tone
Skin type: smooth yet seems quiet withered
Hair style: Long length with no restrains
Scars: Several cuts in most of the right handÂ…and a purple scar creasing the palm.
Tattoos: --
Colouring:

[b]Hair:[/b] Dark Intensive Red [b]Eyes:[/b] One eye black, one eye emerald green. [b]Skin:[/b] White [/li]

Mental Information
Alignment: We all carry the seed of everythingÂ…
Philosophy:
A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free...
Deity/Beliefs:
"From time to come, to time that was,
a labyrinth of hopes bleeds and cries...
all it is, is all it was,
as ever and never, dreams and dies..."
--Book of Labyrinth by Amorphis the Silent_Enigma

Personality:

[b]Current Behavioral Tendencies:[/b] [u]1.[/u] [i]Secluded and secretive in personal matters yet rather open in world/existential belief discussions.[/i] [u]2.[/u] [i]Isolated in his thoughts yet quietly open in joining the company of others.[/i] [u]3.[/u] [i]Great Fascination in anything that might give him information/knowledge upon his inner drives.[/i] [/li]

Additional Information
Gear: --nothing special or unique
Jewelry: evil eye jewelry
Habbits/hobbies: Observer, Wanderer, Fascinated by music/arts.
General Health: Indications of his fathers illnessÂ….
Favorite Drink: Wine
Weaknesses:

[u]1.[/u][i] Has a problem keeping track of time…(not constantly).[/i] [u]2.[/u][i] Has memory lapses…(not constantly).[/i] [u]3.[/u][i] Near Death experiences might cause great anxiety and discomfort, triggering ‘eccentric’ mannerisms. [/i] [/li]

[*Aeternus]

Prior to Arrival in the Lands of the Dread

Amorphis son of Omnoy Saturnus (Scripter of the Dead)(mother unknown).
The incurable illness... of his father together with his strong beliefs
about having an honorable and peaceful passage towards 'True Death' and
refusing further investigations about the nature and possible cure of his illness,
made Amorphis experience, in a very tragic way, the loss of his father at the age of 13.
As his father withered and disappeared from his life, Amorphis found himself
unwilling to keep up with the responsibilities passed on him from the faction. The
next step was to abandon his present reality and try to find his own answers.
His own answers towards the meaning of life and death, towards his personal fears of becoming ill as his father (already has indications of the illness).
Thus far apart from acquiring limited knowledge of the powers that governs
death and afterlife, his travels gave no answers. However, his beliefs towards
Agnosticism and Atheism increased (thus joining the faction of "The Lost").

"Another road, another lost path" he thought...looking at the chairs leading
to an underground room of an almost completely ruined temple.
"Another hope forgotten, another dream shattered, faith is not for Gods" he
whispered as we cautiously walked down the stairs...the room was small and uninteresting
...
yet the mists gave their presence and the lands of the Dread
opened their shadowy hands to embrace him.

The Beginning of the Return
I still donÂ’t remember well when I joined the caravan. It feels like a long time, my memories start to witherÂ…I am not sure anymore if that is for good or not, but I feel really uneasy about it.
They told me that the ritual will happen soon as the Fulltide is coming. At least I will be able to attend a true doroq for the first time not just as guestÂ…

Upon Arrival
“Where..where am I? Sigil? I barerly remember this place…I had abandoned all hope or returning here…I never hoped to come back in the beginning but that was just the beginning…and many things happened…am I really back?
What did happen that night? That raven rainy night? Â…running through the mists is the only memory I have, running feeling numb, just running towards that cave leading the abandoned mine.
Sigil…I arrived to the place I left, a circle…the third point of a circle…is the circle closed now? What I am here for?...”

[*Aeternus]

ItÂ’s been a few days now since i returned. I managed to explore the town and visit all the places i could remember. However, i still refuse to contact The Lost...i am not sure their beliefs still reflect on me but on the other hand I do feel regrets for this, maybe I should do something about this soon. Jinks or items donÂ’t interest me however I donÂ’t believe in gods, I am not sure if I believe in me, still.

I have to explore more, need to challenge my memories and maybe bring some of them back. Since i came back i can focus more, however, my memories and emotions are strongly dragging me to the reality of the lands of the Dream.

Although rare, the battles seem to help me a lot. ItÂ’s easier during battle to focus and concentrate my feelings and thoughts...but today something different happened.

I met her/it at the bazaars open market...she got interested..or rather amused in helping me acquire those stone eyes. She was impressive and helpful, our talks seemed superficial, yet it felt like we both wanted to know more..after we acquired the eyes we headed back to the bazaar and thenÂ…

She started changing her form, her mood became unstableÂ…
I was really trying to understand her, really trying. However, she was too chaoticÂ…

For a moment my words seemed like they draw limits inside her, for a moment, and then
she just got frustrated, sad maybe and she left the place running and disappearing in the night.

I was trying to understand her. I was trying to see her as one thing though one directionÂ…that reflection of me, towards her might disappointed her/it.
Or was it just another chaotic game for herÂ…

No matter, she was the first to talk to me since my arrival and her confusion drag me out of my own confusion for a momentÂ…whether I hurt her or not I have to look for her.
Whatever she is, though her confusion and chaos she was trying to reach out of herselfÂ…is she a lost traveler? a soul, reaching for nothing through everything?

Maybe I am just a foolÂ…

[*Aeternus]

Yesterday was the first time I actually had a proper talk with someoneÂ… Actually was more than that. In the beginning I acted with disbelief towards her but soon I found myself too intrigued by her words. It was challenging even to talk with herÂ…and the worse or should I say best was that she actually reminded me of madam Tshilaba.

We talked about many things from local lore to magic, good and evil, even memories. We had few similarities as well, although she seemed so well balanced within her. I donÂ’t know how old she probably is but she seemed that time has not gone wasted for her.

There is a possibility to be part of her project *a ship that can travel through plains* although I do fear her wisdom and strength. Faith is blind most of the times and I donÂ’t want to become just a pawn, I have to keep my independence and keep traveling.

I think she even brought some memories back for meÂ…is she playing with my mind? Is she part of a greater cause?

After our talk the urge to decide where I stand has become greater as well. Is it the “Defiers”? the “Dustmen” or just remove myself from this dilemma?

[*Aeternus]

*Open wound, lost memories.... is the circle ever going to close*?

it happened again today... i hope not much was lost...
i hate YOU, I HATE YOU!

goes to a deep sleep, so deep that becomes a bliss...for a moment
just for a moment in time....

[*Aeternus]

Two paths openedÂ…one through darkness.. claims its position. A key to be found to unlock realities of the past, memories drawn to a canvas, painted by the colors of mist. My feelings dwell deep within and a caravan of life waits for me on the other side.
But my life is here nowÂ…

I was send here for a reason, can that reason be just to return?
No, that cant be rightÂ…but what is there to follow..?

The other path seems to be the one of balanceÂ…yet of a balance fragile and conquered through chaosÂ… What to hold on? We are all travelers, through our minds or not, matters a little, we are all actors... striving to hold on to something that can be touched and felt in the same time. Is there something to be claimed as real?

I was send here for a reason; can that reason be just to dance seeking balance through dancing with chaos?
No, that cant be rightÂ…but what is there to grasp..?

Can all this be everything? What about a third way? Is there one to be found?
The powers within me are awaken more yet my weakness becomes greater, I do try to hide it but seems harder when you are not aloneÂ…and when you are not alone there is more to lose.


‘In the circle of stones dressed in ivy
By the garden of the serene flowers
And the spirits are there
Whispering my name..

Now I seek upon the night,
Small fragments of moonlightÂ’

[*Aeternus]

ItÂ’s been few days now in isolation. When I returned everything was too loud. People moving around in bazaar shopping, talking, drinking, all like shadows from a distant life. I tried to make everything quieter but the wine didnt help.
Familiar faces around, names remembered but still feltÂ….like ethereal.
I do wonder sometimes if reading that book of lady pain, played some role to it.
The pain in my body has increased as well, probably too long within my thoughts.

I do miss the simplicity of things however I find sometimes drawn away. There must be something to ease the pain of my body which has increased lately. But how?
I heard that demons and devas might provide answers even solutions but I sense I am not ready for it yet. Magic seems of no effect to my conditionÂ…or I do something wrong maybe everything is wrong but even if true I need to have proofs.

I have chosen to walk the same path with people I feel I want to support, betrayal I hate.
Harm should be given to those they seek it, even to oneself, but pain must have purity on it and betrayal is far from that.

For now, I just have to keep focused to the paths I chose to walk and the travelers that walk beside me.


“Floating in circles
Stars shine a light our way
To meadows and fields, green as the grass
Where we lay down
Forever...”

[*Aeternus]

A strange dayÂ…
I was to help with haunted memories of someone that visited grey wastesÂ…Seems there was some sort of attunement between the negative plains and the visitor. Was is as simple as that however, or was just some delusion imprinted on him by someone. Along with my companion we managed to put an end to it relieving him but the false emotions and thoughts that were controlling him.
However did we actually helped or it was just tricked, suppressed his inner drives temporarily?
My friend seems more focused since I returned for the days of my isolation. Is he more focused because he is closer to the answers he seeks or is it just a stronger seal that guards him. I feel more and more I am unable to provide anything for him. He seems like he is already traveling to the vastness of the ocean.
A new companion today crossed my path, bestial yet gentle and noble in his own humble way, indeed someone to count upon.
As for herÂ…she is like a slow poison within my mind. I donÂ’t know what this poison will be within me. I do find her company warm without the need of words but still, its like looking to a midnight wilderness fairytale. Distant, enchanting and Â…true. So true I am afraid to look.
AndÂ…as for me the darkness I looked while exploring the earth plain, the dark abyss just a step away from that bridge, made me wonderÂ…if deep down within that place something existed that my senses could actually grasp.

Lately I had no traumatic near death experiences thus I feel stronger and more aware of myself but it had happened before and what was lost was even greater then, much greaterÂ…


“So it will not play, will not rejoice at all
Music will not play to please
Give off the right sort of joy
For it was fashioned from cares
Moulded from sorrow.”

[*Aeternus]

Our paths crossed again. She was direct and friendly as always. We had a brief talk and decided to venture to earth plain and even visit outlands. We decided however, to have something to eat and talk, before we head out.

It was a while since I ate in a table or even had a reason to share something like that with someone.
We started to talk and that become more intense. I started having difficulty finding the right words for her and the discussion become even harder because I felt she was expressing an honest interest towards me.
For a moment I almost lost control of my feelings. I straggled not to talk, not to share, not to feel but was so hard.

And she talked about completing the circle, ‘It’s the way of nature, its natural’. I wish it was so simple…or am I blind?
Balance is of sharing, sharing is of balanceÂ…. I wish it was so simpleÂ…or am I blind?

I feel I am closer to that decision now but more powers have to awaken within me and more knowledge of how to protect and confine that solution.

If words are not enough what is there?
If feeling are not enough what is there?
If memories are not enough what is there?

No matter the frustration she caused, she somehow became even more real to me, than she was beforeÂ…and small treasures like those are to be respected and kept. ItÂ’s within those small treasures that meaning finds its placeÂ…

Must keep focused, specific knowledge must be acquired, more powers must awaken within me and a seal, then I can start preparing…Today I was unable to sleep was coughing all night and my body was burning. I won’t accept the same death, I will just not accept it. There is nothing ‘True’ within such death, Nothing!

[*Aeternus]

A good day!

Someone who was forgotten tried to reach out to me. The feelings were there but only faint and uncertain. She claimed the past and although I havenÂ’t remembered her or our past, she lighted a present and a future path to walk together again. A rare opportunity to explore the plains and the between space with her SpellJammer.
I am glad a friend joined as well a dear friend. I do tend to lure more to this endeavor it will be really something to remember.

I do make the same mistake donÂ’t I?.... nothing lasts forever how can I be so weak as to not accept the reality..the same mistakeÂ…again and again!
I do hope nothing happens to my health during the trip as it will be hard for me to keep it hiddenÂ…
Was my choice wrong? Have I rushed into it without any thought?