Basic Information Name: Leldaren Preypacer Aliases: Leldaren, or Leld by those who know him Gender: Male Race: Half wood elf, half wild elf, either way all elf Age: 142 Profession: Wanderer, Outrider, Scout, Soldier, Tracker Languages: Common, Elvish Accent: A soft, sometimes lilting elven voice, like the wind through the trees
Physical Information Height: 5'5 Weight: 130lbs Body build: Lithe and muscular, time as a soldier have given him a larger build than most elves, and the strength to go with it Skin type: His hands are calloused from years of training with a blade, his skin is weathered Hair style: Long flowing hair Scars: None that can be seen, but often the uglier ones run deeper Tattoos: Not currently Colouring:
[b]Hair:[/b] Brown [b]Eyes:[/b] Light green [b]Skin:[/b] Maple skin tone [/li]
Mental Information Alignment: Chaotic Neutral Philosophy: He is not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor are they here to live up to his. Deity/Beliefs: Fenmarel Mestarine - The Lone Wolf Personality:
[u]Mysterious[/u] [i]Does not give away his feelings or intentions easily.[/i] [u]Proud[/u] [i]You don't like accepting help from others. If a gift or offer of aid smells of charity or pity even the slightest bit, you grow indignant and refuse it. [/i] [u]Guarded[/u] [i]will do anything to avoid seeming weak or vulnerable.[/i] [u]Reckless[/u] [i]You lack the emotion of fear. Unfortunately, it is often an important cue that keeps men from doing foolhardy things. Sure, you don't flinch at the sight of even the most hideous monster, but neither do you feel the need to run away when outclassed[/i] [u]Stubborn[/u] [i]You don't change your mind very often, if at all. Once you've decided on a course of action, you follow through no matter what. Attempts to convince you that you are wrong roll off your back with no effect.[/i] [/li]
Additional Information Gear: Can be seen in a dark green cloak and hood, or if its lowered a headband that pulls back his hair, and generally a very plain green garb. Sometimes wears what looks to be scalemail and leather as part of a uniform. When wearing this he walks more purposefully. Jewelry: None Habbits/hobbies: He tracks as something fun to do. General Health: Perfect health Favorite Drink: Doesn't drink Weaknesses: Is either taken off guard and stumbles over his words when the opposite sex makes moves on him, or withdraws and becomes jaded.
Leldaren's Memory log Note: I've titled this as a memory log, but I am addressing those who read these pages as if I am sitting and telling them the story.
How many deaths will it take until we come to realize that too many have perished? We call ourselves the higher beings, because we can think and we can speak, and yet here we are. What *good* are those words and those thoughts, if we cannot deflect our barbaric nature? We reduce ourselves to what we have for so long despised. I look around at the bodies, friend and foe alike, and I come to realize that all I had ever learned, was a lie.
I left them then, and journeyed on my own. To the Spine of the World and the Frozen Wastes, all the way west to the Trackless Sea. I followed where my feet would lead me. Those were long, hard years for me. I left everything I knew; my family, my friends, and what little home I had left. I left the world to despair and writhe in its own horror; it sickened me to think I had been a part of it.
It was during this time, that I wandered my way to an old acquaintance. I was young in elf years, only about 47 at the time. Alarian Oceanbreeze was her name. Whether it is fate, or the gods that lead to circumstance, my trail stopped for a time at the foot of her hut by the sea. She was a druid of Obad-Hai, the god of nature, though she preferred his workings in the sea, than to those of the woodlands. She offered me a life of acceptance when I saw none, patience, truth, and understanding at a time when all I could see were lies and falsehoods. Her greatest gift to me however, was that of hope; that things can and will get better if only we believe in it, and that people are not just skin deep. Through her wisdom and experience, she guided me along a path that I might not have noticed otherwise.
*you can feel a somber tone in the words*
It has been a long time since I went back to the beginning. Perhaps after some rest I might continue to tell you my tale. If you are one who can handle not knowing everything, but is interested in a tale nonetheless, then do read on. I am no scholar so I apologize now if my phrasing is hard to read for some, or a word could have been better used to describe a scene.
The pain is nearly unbearable, my wounds will not heal. I am constantly haunted by the ghosts of my past, unable to forget, and I cannot seem to run fast enough. When will my suffering end? The gash on my chest and leg are starting to heal, but they have since turned black, like onyx in color, and are so cold to the touch they burn. I would rather face a baatezu in battle than have to live with this...these memories...these scars... but alas I cannot erase what was done. I must either take my own life, or move forward.
I choose to move forward
Where to begin? It was while Alarian was off during one of her trips to heal the creatures of the sea that I decided to travel for a time. I knew she would not be back within the week, so I borrowed her Sphere of Astral Travel. At the time I had never been to the Astral plane, though I had seen her take a trip or two, and she told me stories upon her return. I remember taking the sphere in my hands, watching the world I knew fade out, turning gray, being replaced by a feeling of weightlessness and a soft orange glow.
*you can see pen dots on the paper, obviously a sign that he was thinking hard at how to continue*
It was like nothing I had ever seen, the sky was the color of a new dawn upon my arrival, though time seemed to pass faster here and it faded to a deeper blue. Everything else looked as the same, if only slightly opaque, as if it wasn't really there. The smell was faint but sweet, like a field of flowers being viewed from an adjacent hilltop.
As I was absently staring at my surroundings, I noticed a large cat appear on the horizon. The color of his fur was hard to make out against the evening sky, a midnight blue bordering on pitch black. He stalked through the field swiftly and stealthily, seemingly unaware of my presence. He was not fifty paces away before he stopped, dead in his tracks, and sniffed the air, his eyes coming to rest directly on me. I remember those eyes so well... a soft golden color, gleaming with an unearthly intelligence that told me this animal was not your ordinary panther.
Realizing he spotted me, my mind began to rush in circles, my eyes flashing every direction I could without moving my head, searching for some cover, or anything I could use to my advantage should the cat attack. He sniffed the air again and crouched low in the grass, padding in my direction quietly. My mind raced faster... then I found it. I found the flame of my mind... I began to shove all my thoughts into the flame, extinguishing them and clearing my mind of thought, leaving only action and my true self bare.
My hand reached for my bow, but I realized I had left it at the hut. As reality set in, something came over me and I got to my knees. I had an urge to close my eyes, and in my mind, there were two eyes staring back at me. Not the eyes of a panther about to eat a man, but the eyes of an elf. I suddenly heard a voice in my head, *You have gained much since you were born, but your path has turned into a dark winding road. You are unique among your kind, and therefore an outcast. Elves like you never really get the chance to become accepted, and therefore do not accept others easily*. An image of the panther filled my mind as the voice continued, *Khaz is much like yourself. Whether you realize it or not you two need each other, the road ahead is long and lonely*. I felt a wind ripple across my face as the eyes faded from my mind. As I inhaled, it was then I realized it was not the wind, for the Astral plane has no wind, but the hot breath of a large animal.
Remembering the images in my head, and holding on to fate, I opened my eyes, only to be staring directly into the glowing golden orbs of a magnificent black panther. I offered a word of prayer to Fenmarel, the only god I had ever known, and therefore the most likely explanation for the voice I heard. I offered the panther a smile and my lips parted, speaking ever so softly,
Friends. Even the word itself is mysterious yet alluring. Perhaps that is why, despite my preference for being alone, that I must sometimes find contact and comfort amidst others. How would one define a friend though? I suppose when the hierarchy of that comes into question one would order it like this: Unknown, Acquaintance, Friend, True Friend. However, the line between Friend and True Friend is very blurred. Some would say that a True Friend would always be there for you, would even sacrifice their own life to save yours, but that does not take into account the moral and the ethics of said person, everyone differs. Some have a tendency for self-sacrifice without ever needing to meet the person involved, where others would take years to form such a bond. I hope as time passes, that I might truly learn the difference not in words, but in the actions of those I surround myself with, however infrequent that may be. For now I will walk my path alone, save for Khaz when he is able to join me on my journey, and contemplate the true meaning of friendship, and of being a friend.
I need some time to think, to try and take hold of the emotions that flow through me while I try to retell my past, what little of it I am willing to share. I think perhaps, for a time, I might skip more towards the present, and return to the years before when I feel my wounds are not so tender.
How came I to Sigil you ask? Completely by accident I assure you, I was busy wandering The Outlands when I suddenly felt everything shift, and the light fade, to be replaced by new scents, sights, and people... I was suddenly standing outside The Foul Olde Spirit Inn. I know not how or why this had occurred, only that it had, and at the time I had no idea what Sigil was, that it even existed.
I set off to find exactly where I was in the grand scheme of things, and perhaps knowledge on what there was to do, and where I might venture from here. It was as I was walking up to the bazaar's bar, that I spotted someone I thought I knew. Indeed, it was someone I knew, though she was quite a bit older since last I had seen her. Kari Shadowfox, a tiefling misfit, at least during the years I had known her. I had been a friend of her father's before The King of Shadows came and started his war, and her guardian for a time. I sidled up to the bar and mentioned something about the Neverwinter Docks being a crowded place. At first she did not recognize me, my hair was quite a bit longer, and my face had grown much more weathered in appearance, a direct result of fighting in The War of Shadows. Squinting her eyes she suddenly yelled "Leldaren?! By the gods, it is you!!" as she wrapped her arms around my neck, embracing me in a hug, and I returned it.
"Aye, one and the same" I replied. "What are you doing in Sigil? How did you get here? Where did you come from? How is Neverwinter?" she kept spatting questions out so fast that I had to tell her to slow down, and that I would explain everything. As I told her of my arrival, and of the status of Neverwinter since I had last seen it, she walked me to a quiet place atop a building that offered a complete view of Sigil, starlight shining down, lighting the area and darkened streets surrounding. I asked her of a way to return home, if she had been back herself since her father had passed, and if there was any work to be done around here. She spoke of portals that led to other planes, similar to the ones I had travelled, and of a few merchants and collectors in the area needing work.
"The inn is a good place to start. The innkeeper has an ongoing bat problem in her cellar it seems. There is an illithid who collects ancient relics in the common room, and a shaman upstairs that wants to know the story of the old spirit, as funnily enough, the spirit won't speak to him" she laughed. She told me of her life since she had disappeared from Neverwinter and what she liked to do in Sigil, the night passing slowly, before she finally realized the time and said she must retire. I nodded and we embraced again before I watched her walk off into the dimly lit streets.
I looked over the edge of the balcony, scanning the horizon over the rooftops and watched the stars twinkle in the sky for a time. "It has been a long time since last I had ventured into a city. Perhaps I am in need of a change" I spoke outloud to myself, letting the words drift away on the breeze. After a few moments I turned and started back down the stairs, intent on finding work and places to travel while I remained in the area.
Hatred and anger seem to boil up within me from nowhere. I cannot seem to soothe the pain and hopelessness that I feel, but I find solace in being alone, knowing I cannot hurt anyone so long as I remain so. It has been a few days since they started invading my thoughts, and it doesn't seem as if they are willing to subside. I walk in and out of shadow, avoiding what I cannot kill.
I intentionally hurt myself, feeling as if the memories might go away if I give my mind some new pain to focus on. One, two, three hits I could have avoided; giants are so slow, yet I took the hits and felt no pain. My blades flicking in and out of their defenses as my partner's bow found their hearts. She fires them effortlessly and with precision, yet I am not sure how I feel towards her. Despite the conflagration behind her eyes at times, I do not feel she would understand my own. So I keep it hidden away, locked inside the boundaries of my mind, clawing at the walls of my sanity.
There is another, who seems to prefer more than just hunting together. I can't describe how I feel about her either, my tongue trips over my lips when I try to respond to some advance she has made. Neither of them know each other to my knowledge; my feelings are in such disarray I hardly even know myself. Perhaps more social interaction is needed, for me to settle my soul and calm my thoughts?
**I watched the giant sit on the frozen ground, pulling its helmet down and drift off to sleep. With my cowl in place and Khaz at my side I stalked my prey, so unaware that I was even there.**
No.. no.., all I need is Khaz and my blades, and I shall find contentment upon the path I have tread for so long.
I walk a fine line between reckless warrior and cautious scout. Every time I slip from the shadows is another chance to take a blow that would lay me low for good. Some risks are worth taking, others completely unnecessary. During the thrill of the hunt, I sometimes forget who I am with, my mind scrambles to try and make sense of my actions. Should I seek to protect them... should I even care they are here? Each and everytime, my mind seems to choose differently, flopping around like a fish on land. My companions are the only ones who keep me from slipping away forever... no matter how close to death I choose to go.
She had fallen. We had slain the white wolf, but the jarl's spells were too much for her to take... she lie there dieing, bleeding out in front of me. Thinking quickly I skinned the wolf and used its pelt to staunch her bleeding, then turned back towards the jarl's lair. "We did not come this far to leave empty handed" I whispered to the unconscious form behind me, and then stepped into the shadows, padding softly past the jarl to the chest beside his throne.
I waited patiently until another giant came wandering up, catching the jarl's attention as he saluted and conversed. I took the opportunity to peer into the chest and take what I could carry... which just happened to be all of it. I closed the lid of the chest slowly, letting it ease back into a closed position, a soft click as it locked back into place. It was a good thing giants aren't known for their hearing. Edging along the wall, I made my way back to the still prone form of my companion. Sheathing my blades, I lifted her light form up and over my shoulder, as it was the only swift way I could carry her. Silently with her in my arm, we made our way from the cave.
As I stepped from the mouth of the cave into the light of the plane beyond, I silently whispered to the wind *Elvish: Khaz, walk with me again*, and awaited as a mist formed and the great black panther appeared. He saw that I was carrying our companion and he took up a scout's point, clearing the path towards the doorway to Sigil.
Stepping into the market place I laid her body down and trotted off to the hag to get a coin. Standing over her body, I hesitated... although she had saved me once, I had questioned her motives... I wondered if she might do the same, and offer a similarly pleading look. I quickly shook my head, erasing those thoughts from my mind as I pressed the coin to her lips with two fingers.
Groggy and stiff, but alive, I offered her my hand to rise... she refused. I wasn't the least bit surprised. She made her way to a darker corner to change out of her garb.. she preferred to put on a different persona around the city. I just shrugged my shoulders.. and walked away.
This woman who had painted my pictures, only to watch them be burned in a pyre... this woman who had walked into the jaws of death and watch me fall, only to bring me back... this woman whom I had just saved... this woman with so much hatred towards a race, regardless of the person's actions, completely opposite of my own way... and yet somehow, I still enjoyed her company. It would seem she was as complex as I was, and yet just as guarded. She appears to enjoy my company as well... as reluctant to admit it as I am to her... I am glad of it.
A dagger reaches down for me, the hand holding it is gloved and the bearer wears a cowl, glowing embers stare back at me from the shadows. I try to move, to avoid it, but my hands and feet are bound, helpless I stare back into the face, the dagger inching closer, the heat of it beginning to sear my flesh. I hold back my screams as I bite my tongue, blood flowing freely to run down my lips, sweat beading on my face and body. The dagger's heat feels like an inferno.. as it's edge begins to bite into my flesh I let out a bloodcurdling scream.
Suddenly sitting up, I realized it was only a memory. My scars ached, and my mouth was dry from screaming in my sleep. My body thick with a cold sweat, I got up and dunked myself in the waterfall to cool my body, as well as my thoughts.
Whoever said memories of the past cannot harm you... well...
they were wrong.
The city has been quiet for a few days, and I have seen hide nor hair of my companion. While walking around the bazaar, I smelled a familiar scent, and trailed it right to her... she was hiding behind a stall. Before we could get the chance to plan out our next trip, an alarm sounded. Grinning to my companion I whispered to her, "A giant hunt is fun, but a man hunt is far better".
I could not see her reaction fully, as I turned around swiftly and began trotting towards the barracks in the Lady's Ward. We arrived at the entrance to see quite a crowd, and many Harmonium guards. Some of the crowd questioned why the Harmonium sounded the alarm if they "had it under control", I sneered from under my cowl as I whispered the obvious to my companion, "Because they don't".
I looked to her once before uttering a few words, easing our passage to and from the shadow. I took her hand and we made our way steathily past the guards and into the barracks. There were many guards about, and even a city group of Harmonium patrolled the hallways, but I knew where the man might have gone.. the one place most Harmonium would not search for him. Upon reaching the portal inside, still clinging to the shadows, we walked through.
The Abyss is full of ash and debris, and while many demons and devils wander the place, an experienced tracker can find his way around... it didn't take me long to find the footprints of the one, running off towards a cave I knew well. Our hands still clasped, I lead my companion past the fights that raged all around us, and shortly thereafter we ran into him... and a woman. Speaking from the shadows I asked him what he wanted... though he didn't seem to understand my meaning. As demons came and went I suggested we move to the cave, a safer place to speak.
Trying to draw out information from him, even though it concerned his wants, was like trying to take the fire out of a demon itself. Soon we were joined by another pair, dressed in green; a man with a large sword and a woman with a bow, insisting he go with them. Not long after that pair had arrived, a trio entered the cave, and insist he accompany them back to the barracks, to which he blatantly refused for obvious reasons. There was one more in the cave.. I could smell it... sense the presence, and as the conversation between the trio and the man began to smolder, the figure appeared, a female mage of some sort.
Seeing the conflicting interests of the two groups who came after us, myself and my companion slipped into the shadows, closer to the wanted man. I whispered softly, so as not to let the others hear, "We will give you a distraction, be ready to use it.." with that I motioned to my companion, giving her the signal, as a few words left her lips a darkness settled over the cave and we made our escape, one of the trio hot on the heels of the wanted man, ordering him to return to the barracks.
The man just ran, into a cave full of demons and ended up with his back against a wall, and nowhere to go, a pair from the trio and the previously invisible mage surrounding him, though the mage seemed to be on his side. Still clinging to the shadows I tapped him on the shoulder as I hit a few rocks in the right place and opened a doorway behind him. Slipping past, I set up my trap with a rope laid across the ground... as the man and mage ran through, I pulled the rope tripping one of the trio.
As the demons surrounded the two men and the mage, the armored one made another break for it, my companion and I following close behind. The man and woman in green also came with us, and we hurried our way back towards the barracks, eager to get away from the trio and whoever else might be following.
With the aid spells and the experience of walking in the shadows, we made our way through the city, only a small alarm sounded as we left the barracks, one Harmonium guard spotting us. Zig-zagging and criss-crossing through the streets and alleyways, we made our way into the sewers, to the Undercity. Upon arriving, the man nearly fainted, completely exhausted from the escapade. My companion used her tools to open one of the doors, and the man walked in and promptly fell asleep on a bed.
The large man in green and woman had a small conversation, which ended in the man changing his garb and returning to the surface. The woman wanted him to tell a friend of her's where she was, to which I advised it was not a good idea, it would be an unnecessary risk. It took a little convincing, but the man agreed with me and told the woman he would let her friend know she was 'unavailable'.
My companion and I stepped a few paces away and crouched down, studying the woman. The woman seemed very intrigued as to who my companion might be, perhaps she knew her. I had since put my hood and cowl away and changed my own armor, so I was less of a mystery. The woman took off her mask and approached, wanting to learn more, particularly of me, as my companion backed off a few paces and pretended to stretch.
I spoke a little about my past, fading in and out of memories... she mentioned something about living with them forever. I suddenly snarled and replied, "Of course I live with them forever... do you not think I have tried to forget these memories? I have tried hard but they do not leave me." Returning inwardly now, continued my reply, the tone of my voice became cold and hollow, "The past is better left for the dead".
After that, the woman stood up and slipped off into the town, and my companion did the same, telling me she was tired. I nodded, not really noticing the one leave, or hearing my companion's words.. I was in my own world. I strode off to a dark corner and sat for a while..
Many moons have passed since I was last home. Home... what is home?
I took her through the Beastlands and to the waterfall I often visit. What caused me to do so, I could not say... though I had Khaz with me at the time.. perhaps that is why I chose to go then instead of later; he has to return to the Astral every now and then. We decided to play a knowledge game... each taking turns asking the other a question.
There were many in my mind, though I chose to start with perhaps the most common; how she lost her voice. A tale of violence, involving a drow raiding party and poisons they had used. An unfortunate happening to be assured, but at least she had lived. After she had finished, she asked how I had come by the black scars that so mark my body. I looked away, it took a few moments before I could next hold her gaze. I shook my head, indicating it was not something I could tell at the time, the pain of the memories were too great.
Her next question veered towards her personal desire, "How came you by that black bow?" I sighed and patted the bowstaff at my side, and told her a little of the darker time in my life, inquiring as to her age, so I might explain, or not explain, what she might perhaps already know. I told her of my time for an employer, though I did not specify the when, where, and how of it.. merely that I earned it as part of my job.
A little dissatisfied with the answers I had given her, she pressed for how I had come to know Khaz. During the previous questions, she had seen the amusing rapport that I had with the magnificent panther, her eyes seemed a bit saddened by something, but upon hearing my tale they brightened again. She was elated and awestruck when, during my tale, Khaz had looked into her eyes, and then rolled over, revealing his underside. As I finished my tale, a man in armor walked up; with a quick smile, my companion threw up her hood and faded into the grasses as I stood up and drew my blades.
The man merely wanted peace and serenity at the waterfall.. and it was about time to take my leave.
Home is where you choose to make it. Home is where you are nothing but yourself all the time.
Time away. I needed time away. I left no word nor sign to mark my passing. After the meeting with her intrigueing, but childish friend, I withdrew far into myself. I needed some time to reflect on what I had done recently, and what I intended to do.
The days slip away as they blur together. It is hard to tell what day I am on and what day has passed. I wonder if she thinks of me? She reminds me of myself in some ways, though perhaps a bit too openly stubborn. She might forget me... I wonder if it might be better if she did.
I came across a verse a long time ago, the melody still haunts me. I wish it didn't fit as well as it does.
'Tomorrow I'll be someone else Wrapped up in thoughts Inside my shell I wear the mask I am given Safe behind the walls My prison I live for today And never look back Only tomorrow knows If I'll fall flat Because there's nothing as good And yet so disgusting Than to look at yourself And see something... else'
I suppose if I intend to finish what I started I must head back to Sigil now, before I lose myself again.
The city is as desolate as Archeron itself. I stayed for a while, and encountered none I knew. I searched for her, even in that parlour she keeps in the Hive, though I did not see her.
The ice plane is cold.... but not as cold as dieing alone.
