Sigil: City of Doors

((For a bit of IC fun if anyone cares to wade through - some beautiful accents in type. The scene: Riane and Rorin at the bar, Rorin swigging from his two tankards, Gerta approaches having demanded her ale to be pulled))

Iz tha' a female zhort-legz?

*harrumpfs, just catching Riane's comment, looks about heself and away and around trying to see a 'shorty'*

Makez me loo' li' a righ' fool, ye di'!

Ye jus keep at et n this 'ere lasseh'll set yeh roigh' straigh' aye.

Zhe'z nah az hideouz az I though', ye mentioned ztuff 'bou' hair an' zuch

Oy! Dun go talkin bou' th' beard sh' dun ave... *He said that in a panic. Very few things would make a stout like Rorin a bit edgy. But an angry shieldmaiden was first and foremost on that list of things*

*rubs her hairless chin, cheeks redden further, angry look*

Mr. Beardy tol' me tha' proper femalez an' hair an' zuch matter tha' be abi' odd...

Oh 'ee did did 'ee?

Zure di'!

Wai', wai'... iz tha' ... nah righ', or?

Wot!!!?!?! Oi sai th' opposite.

Nah ye di'nah! Ye zpecifically criticized me fer nah 'avin' 'air on me face. "Loi' eyyym prooopah laaasshaayss." *last sentence being her shamefully horrible immitation of dwarven accent*

Bloddy hells Rorin *now huffing*

Ye coul alwehs try tae drink more stout.. maybeh tha' woul put whiskers back on yer...*He made a motion to his bearded chin*

*waggles her right dumpy finger at him* Ye dug yer grave...ye know I be sensitive 'bout tha

Ye beh a foin shieldmaiden aye! *The dwarf knew he was in deep shit*

Ye cut mae....deep wi that comment...even tae another lassie...*snorts, taking massive umbrage now*

Wai', wai', wai'... he cut ya?! Are ye z'pozed tae do tha', Rorin? I din' get diz... Wha' 'az happened 'ere?

Ye bloddy knew....it fell out...ye buggeh....an still made comment on tha score...shyte..an double shyte...*wraps knuckles to shield* I'm callin ye out...now....its time laddie...sod the rompin

Oy ne'er said nuthin bout ye !! Oy were talkin bout dwarven lasseh's in genral avin beards n all! She didnae b'lieve meh!

I zill di'nah believe ye!

*mocking voice * Proper females 'ad 'air thas wha she said yer said

An' alzo fat, zuppozedly.

Oy! Weh beh stout!

He zay fat, nah talkin' 'bout ye. Yer.. cute

Oy ne'er sai' fat

Ye zpecifically zay tha' dwarven lazzezh fatten up. An' needed "love-handlez"

Oy sai tha we all's ave more meat on our bones than ye lot!

Think I ain tried tha bloddy stout...I tried the feckin lot of things..onleh thin I still BLODDY aint gotten roun tae...is them bear balls...was me last hope...*still grumbling about the beard than the fat comments*

Oy.. ASTE WHERE BE YE!!!!

Soddin buggeh of a dwarf....*grumbles massively* I wan me bloddy bear balls!

I wan' clarity! I din' get it?

Eh? *Gerta pauses in mid -tirade*

Oy...

Are ye ugly or malformed, 'avin' nah beard? Iz tha' a zicknezz o'zuch?

*Rorin smacks palm to face*

*Gerta goes red in face again* oy...ye goin tae far now lassie...don plead ignorance again...mind yer words

I juz din' get it!

I happen tae be hirsuiticalleh challenged *snorts*

Rorin zay "Beardz be proper fer lazzezh!" an' I think ye will fin' tha' woul' be a very dwarven thing tae think! I din' think women ough' tae 'ave beardz! 'cauze moz din' 'ave it! An' ye din' go' beard, which I frankly din' mind!

Bae th' keeper o secrets undeh th' mountain Oi wouldne'er say a shieldmaiden werenae a propeh lass. Et were a workin acciden' tha' claimed et roigh?? Roigh?!? Tha' beh nuthin tae beh shameful o'.

Zo I juz wondered if ye are freakizh or zummat fer a dwarf cauze it iz'nah really tha' much o'a problem fer me cauze I thin' it zuitz ye havin' nah beard an' tha' beard woul'nah be zuited on ye! *inhales deeply, being almost completely empty of air*

Beh a scare tae carreh through tae yer final days when ye foinleh foind rest aye.

I need tae wallop somethin..I ...cannae decide if which of yer twae it will be.....shut up...just..shut up..*slams fist into her shield hard hardly denting it however*

Bazh 'im! 'iz fault! *instinctively points at Rorin*

Oy! Were nae!!!!! *Perhaps instinctively he kept the shield a bit closer to what might be considered a defensive stance*

Ye ztarted it!!

Bah! *annoyed at not even making much mark on her shield, though pissed she would be in reality at doing such*

Oi ne'er sai' anythin tha' werenae a truth o th' way o loif o stoutfolk loik meh Honesteh beh th' roigh' course o action roigh?

How woul' I know wha' waz righ' or nah amidzt all o'ye braggin' 'bout zhaggin' an entire keep o'lazzezh!?

WOT?!!?! BWOT!?!? I ne'er sai !

Ye wot?!

Nae sheh beh makin tha' 'un up.

Wha'!?

Oi ne'er woul go aroun' claimin tha'.

Tha so? *purses lips*...an I dinnae know why I even care

Ye azked me 'ow many I'd zhagged!

Den ye went on a tirade 'bou' kinzfolk an' 'ow th'dwarven lazzeh be lovin' ye package!

Nae self respectin defendeh o clan honor woul go roun doin tha' loik som young laddeh ou' tae prove e coul git in th' mos holds

Aye...well...now 'ee probably spoke truth in that one

Well, I din' know!

All I know waz tha' ye were very dwarven abou' it! Which conziderin' all o'diz iz a GOOD thin'!

Oy... yer.. realleh.. realleh tryin tae stir up mischief lasseh

Mizchief!? When 'ave I done tha', ev'r? Nev'r.

*harrumpfs*

((and so it went on, loads more...I didn't stop laughing until that dear tiefer player logged, nice play all))

((Part deux))

I'll grant ye tha point laddie...now lassie....watch yer tongue...does soun tae me tha yer stirrin some

Oy....

I create lively, zure.

The beard thing still cuts Rorin...ye and me will 'ave words...that tussle is o'er due

Oy.. why'd et feel loik this loiveleh moigh beh th' death o meh.

Bu' th'women ought tae 'ave beard iz yer line, berk. Ye even wanted me tae 'ave a damn mouztache...

S'why I ain asked anyone tae wed me...an I won't til it gets sorted

Which iz juz zilly.

*hefty sigh, anger actually fading and she seems to become morose* Ale....fill it up flame head *grumbles to Khazeet*

*Riane prods her own stomach again* ... though' ye righ' tha' I ought tae be abi' more meatier...

Aye. yer skin n bone lasseh.

Meat...lots o it....fill yer belly wi ale tae....guaranteed..*grabs her tankard again once filled nose dives in her ale*

Bu' nah much o'it gettin' offa bugz.

Ye needs tae eat propeh meats.

It'z nah good! It'z tae flezhy an' zour an'

An' it iz hard tae tear up!

Oy! Lemme see ye open tha' mouth o yers lasseh. Show them thar stickeh's ye call teeth.

*Riane tilts her head then bares her teeth, abit confuzed, her teeth being solely composed of razor sharp, canine teeth*

*Gerta is still rather morose slumping against he wall, shield clanging to stone as she slurps her ale*

Oy.. themse beh meat eatin teeth if'n Oi didnae say so maeself.

... 'emh... zlickzss... taeh... meezz... teeethz... zhummat... awfhulh... *says, still baring her teeth as if on display*

Whar ye from lassie..tha yer tongue can so cut and play mischief wi out realisin ?

Oy oy.. roigh' ye kin talk norme loik naw.

*closes her mouth and flexes her jaw then looks at Gerta*

I'm frem Zigil! Alzo zpent a zpell in th'Prime, tho'

Oi'm fer sayin tha' if'n ye started eatin propeh meals ye'd fill ou' noiceleh.

Ye got tae use dagger tae poke in between loike after a meal...anyone knows tha

Li'... cutlery?

AYe aye lasseh.

*sneers at the thought* I 'ate cutlery!

Ye use chivs though aye?

Oh aye *nods at the response*....Sigil lassie .....aye....but dagger point be jus as good

Why both'r wi' tha' when I juz pop a roach in me mouth an' chew?

B'cuz.. shite lasseh 'ow'n th' ells ye spect tae put meat on yer bones wit jus bugs tae eat?

... I.. uh..

Gerta lasseh elp meh ou' 'ere *He pleaded*

... I din' expect tha'... I'm been gettin' thin'r by th'monthz tae behonezt.

Tha be nae much meat on roach...see....bear balls....full o nutrition....thems wot ye should be tryin furst...softer...don stick tae teeth quite th'same as side flesh...broiled, boiled or roasted...*nods*

Aye n ye kin cook em in beer batteh.. mmmm *lip smacking sounds*

Beer batter....oy..Rorin!

Oy tha' jus beh makin mae belleh rumble thinkin o et.

Too right..oy....say...wot ye say we go get some...ye know I bin after them fer ages

*Riane tilts her head and makes a disgusted face*

Funneh thing tha. Oi r'membeh th' toim weh fixed us a wild wolverine aye.

*Gerta chortles, talk of bear balls and feasting bringing her out of her doldrums*

Harran' up n took a keg o stout n let et cook intae th' meat slowleh.

Mmm weh brough' et roigh 'ou' ere on tha' thar 'ill n cooked et til et were crispeh n th' meat were so tendeh n juicy. Mmmph...

Damn...missed out on tha feast...caught th'end o it ye bloddy sods...heh

Oy.. weh needs tae go git us some vittles naw n fix et up aye.

Oh et were wortheh o bringin tears o joy tae this 'ere stout's eyes aye

I'm .. eh.. Goin' tae 'ave a brief zpell off. I really di'nah mean tae mizbehavin' on ye. Zorry if I be th'cauze o'durezz.

Oy sure ye did. *he snorted* Aye well.

Aye..well..*harrumpfs* jus mind when things are mite sensitive.. no 'arm done...save Rorin is now challenged tae tussle.

*Riane nods her head respectfully and leaves the bar*

Be seein ye

Oy.. spose Oi'll ave tae anseh tae tha' 'un wun Oi aye?

Aye...ye ain gettin out of it..so..now laddie..yer choice...face meh in tussle or get me them bear balls? *lifts chin up* Wots it tae be? *snorts waiting*

Oy.. coul' weh jus do th' safeh o th' two?

An which be tha? Bear balls? *guffaws*

Oy.. ye got et.

Rorin came to the bar at some later time. He was covered in dirt and rock debris. He sidled up to the bar with his tankards. He paid up a tab ahead of time as was usual for him. He squints and then looks about at all the patrons.

"Oi wondeh whar tha' Gerta lass ran off tae? Holeh ells whar beh th' otheh laddehs fer tha' matteh? Oi sure as shite 'aven't seen hide nor whisker o' Aste n Harrand. 'ells 'aven't seen much o th' otheh kinfolk Oi knows beh aroun'."

The dwarf took a deep swig and continued to make small talk around the bar for a time.