Demolition and Entropic Acts

Post Reply
*Azulfae
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Posted by *Azulfae »


Dear Fraternity of Order,

As a representative of the Doomguard's more orderly members I would like to put forwards an application to your fraternity to pass a law so that the Doomguard be allowed to lawfully channel their entropic efforts within the city of doors.

Recently the Harmonium took it upon themselves to demolish a premesis. All I could think about as i watched this is how amature they were at this task and how it should have fallen to the Doomguard.

Our faction contains members who are expert at such tasks and also initiates who would jump at the chance to contribute to the demolition of buildings.

I propose that a law be passed that all demolitions within Sigil city of doors henceforth be passed onto the Doomguard for timely and competent destruction.

Regarding the fees for such a task I would suggest a demolition tax be collected from the premesis owner by the Fated and all neccessary administration completed by them before the job and final payment (including costs) be passed onto the Doomguard. If there is no owner available to pay said demolition taxes then the costs should be passed on to the body or organisation who require/request the demolition.

Thankyou for your time and careful consideration,

Kail Onifhet

Sign of Zer0
*Agony_Aunt
Posts: 855
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Posted by *Agony_Aunt »


Administrator A6, Og Laf, a lowly member of the order, recieves the note.

He takes a read of it, not quite believing it, reads it again. Wonders for a moment if one of his colleagues is playing a joke on him. A bubble burst from his lips. Then a chuckle which causes some of his fellow administrators to look his way. Finally an outrageous burst of laughter and he falls on the floor in hysterics.

His colleagues run over to see what is so funny and after they read the note, they also all burst out laughing.

Finally the Bureau Chief arrives to take charge of the situation and calm things down. He manages to get the Administrators back to work and takes the note which he reads.

He turns calmly and leaves the room, intent on heading to show the note to some of the other Bureaeu Chiefs.

He manages to get a hundred yards down the corridor before he finally explodes in a fit of laughter, but at least a good distance from the Administrators he has recently chastised.

The pattern is repeated later when he shows the note to his colleages, and it even goes all the way to Factol Hashkar.

Soon the whole Fraternity in Sigil is running wild with jokes about giving the Doomguard rights to destroy things lawfully.

Administrators and Aides could be heard saying things like "You hear the one about the Guvner, the Hardhead, and the Sinker? ...@

Finally word gets back to Factol Pentar. She is not amused. Fortunately for Kail, his name was never mentioned as the author of the note (most fraternity members were usually laughing so much by the end they failed to take note of the name). If Pentar were ever to learn of which Doomguard sent such a note, they would feel her wrath.

However, it did actually further the cause of the Sinkers in a roundabout way. For an entire cycle, the work of the Guvners at all levels was badly disrupted. Meetings were delayed, paperwork was delayed, or even destroyed as Guvners used whatever was at hand to dry their eyes and blow their noses with.

((I think this deserves a Faction point just for the fun))
*Azulfae
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Posted by *Azulfae »


Having known nothing of the immense amount of humour his simple request has caused an entire faction, Kail later returns to find out what came of his idea and who is dealing with it as he has recieved no reply or feedback.
*Agony_Aunt
Posts: 855
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Posted by *Agony_Aunt »


When Kail approaches the administrator on duty and presents himself the administrator looks up, blinks and stammers....

Bu... bu... but. Erm.... looks confused and scratches his head It was ... No really... i mean.... a corner of one eye starts to tic, and he seems to be having trouble controlling his lips.

Name? Your name? I gotta get this.... and an artist, we need a description, a portrait. Please don't go anywhere.

He shouts over a colleague and speaks with him quietly ((Listen check DC=30)). Quick, fetch an artist!... What?.... No, i don't know... anyone who can draw then.... its HIM... yes, the barmy sinker... now get moving

He turns back to Kail having recovered a measure of composure.

Take a seat please, we will have someone along shortly. We really want to get your portrait taken. For posterity of course! This needs to be recorded properly. Such an esteemed individual should be known to all!
*Azulfae
Posts: 238
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am

Posted by *Azulfae »


Whilst the clerk is messing around looking for an artist in a faction full of lawyers, Kail slips a few crystals of iodene into the back pages of the apointment book at the desk.

He smirks to himself and departs utilising his best vanishing skills.
Post Reply