Re: Public Sensorium
Posted: Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:12 pm
Sane Insanity - Submitted by Minasien
Your eyes open, and you are staring at your own reflection in the water of a running river in the Outlands. You take in your own features, knowing youself to be the drow "Minasien," even taking careful time to think of yourself as the Mystic spellcaster that has been helping with the war efforts in the Outlands fronts, the war against an alternate, invading Sigil. You know you're thinking these things specifically to give these thoughts to whomever might read the stone, although you also know, you meant this stone for specific people.
That actually makes you grin a bit as you pull away from the water and pull out a pocket mirror as your thoughts drift to how silly this actually is, leaving a message like this in a sensory stone, but you also know there's truly nothing else like it that could so adequately get across your feelings. There is a giddiness with what you are about to say, equally shared with a great sorrow as you begin to walk with no direction, looking at yourself in your mirror so whomever sees this stone knows you are talking to them.
"Hi there. First of all, if you're some random person whom found this random stone I did my best to make un-noticable, congratulations! I bleed at true stealth, but given you're in a sensorium with hundreds, if not thousands of stones to choose from, I'm surprised you'd choose one like this. Ah well, hopefully it's entertaining. If you're one of those I meant this for? Good job on finding it. I do like my games, I had to give one last before I left."
You sit down on a nearby rock, your eyes glancing ever so briefly between the river, and then back to the mirror, another wave of giddy-sadness hitting you; it's a chaotic swirl of emotion that makes you question your own sanity as you continue, "If things go as I'm planning, by the time you see this, I will be long gone. And I'll explain why in very short detail..."
You look away from the mirror to simply look around, letting your gaze pan slowly to the view and surroundings, taking it in and knowing well you may never see it again. You laugh at no one, suddenly coming to a realization you vocalize.
"It's kinda silly, I thought so long about how long about how I wanted to say and do this, and now that I'm here, I don't really care about my plan. So I'm going to roll the dice. I'm not going to rehash my entire history, but that which has driven me to these final decisions. A time ago in my past, I had something of a trouble of dopplegangers, ones from 'other worlds.' The short version to that crisis was that they were 'handled,' and now I'm fine and safe, but the planeswalkers that handled it... well, you don't mess with time and space without consequence. Added to that, dark has it my father was a real bad guy in this verse and dimension, and some of those walkers of these incidents came from other dimensions, and they mentioned that over there he's not only alive, which puts him at odds from this world, but he's a real high-up blood."
Thoughts swirl to the current war in the outlands as you grin back into the mirror, 'looking' at whomever may be watching, "That sound familiar to you? If you're in Sigil during the time I'm making this, it rusting will. When this war broke out, as any reasonable person might expect, I thought that all of this time spent looking for whom I am, what I am, where I belong, was finally going to get some answers."
Your gaze shoots left to a creature, a dragon or half dragon, gray of scale and only about as tall as an average human, standing bipedal on a lithe, muscular form. He looks right back at you, one eye a black void, the other a swirl of colors. It's not clear even to yourself which is which, but you instinctively recognize him as both the source for some of your most recent revelations as well as the questioning of your own sanity as of late. You can look at him, even feel him, and you have punched him in the past and it hurt, but no one else has seen or heard him, even with divinations and true sight. Even magic by an incredibly skilled dreamwalking fey could not find him. He wasn't real, but he was also not attached to your mind by your own knowledge. You were probably insane, and you knew it, but this no longer mattered to you. You spoke your next lines staring directly at this figure, knowing well it is a lesson he told you in your very first conversation.
"So rare it is, though, that the journey to find out our origins has a satisfying conclusion," you continue as your gaze finally pans back to the mirror, "I lost count of how many excursions I took outside of the cage, to a few worlds beyond. I got breadcrumbs, small bits of a trail to follow, and it ultimately led me back to Sigil right as this outbreak and other army started to invade."
The giddiness of your heart quickly faded, and conflicted sorrow mixed with uncertainty overwhelmed you, "and at first like reasonable cutters of my past might think, I thought I would finally get some answers, and my past would finally reveal itself. Well? It sorta did, and I could not have been more disappointed at first. I learned that all of this build-up was absolute horseblek. I could be wrong, but between this," you point and look at the dragonoid once more, "floating vision of my ever-increasing loss on reality, the fact that my answers have pointed to this whole invasion having only just minimal to no news of worries I was so sure would come to pass, and knowing ultimately that in all of this, I could be slowly losing my mind, it's managed to swirl into a strange sort of answer:"
You pause, and look into the mirror at yourself this time as much as you do whom you're communicating to, "None of matters to me anymore. I got my answers, even if they were partially from an imaginary jackass. They sucked. And upon knowing that, I realized that I've been wasting all this time looking for something that didn't really matter. Even if there is more to find, even if more answers are still hidden among all these enemy fanatics, I don't care anymore. It's a demiplane."
You stand, and look once more at the source of your insanity. He stares right back only a moment, before this time turning and simply floating away, into the sky and fading from view as you continue to speak to your listeners, "and I now stand ready to either chase after something that will render me insane, or change my life forever. I'll spare you the details, because if you are hearing this, whomever you are, you can already feel the chaotic swirl of emotions and thoughts. Maybe it's just a side effect of the slaad gear I wear all the damned time, even now. Or, maybe it's the real real. Either way, I've decided to follow them. They asked for my help. This time, it's my choice, and I want to follow and answer that call. So I'm gonna."
You look towards a direction you know will take you to Faunel, the gate town to the Beastlands as well as a source of some great unease. Thoughts of swirling forms, dragons, demons, and all sorts of creatures of darkness flood your mind. There is some brief fright and dread even as the memory of a portal of dark hits your mind once more, but you quickly push it away. You have a message to continue, and you do so.
"But if you do see this, whomever you are whether those I meant this for or not, if this is during the time of the war? Be careful. I could not implore you more. Those dark ones we fought before that portal I closed, and the sheer darkness, malice, blood... all of those feelings..." a feeling of dread fell over you as you continued, "I never have felt something like that. I worked for days to seal that portal, and for all I know, it could be simply warping my mind to something absolutely jumping the wrong way at things. Another reason I might be losing my damned mind. Either way, I have enough sense to know what I felt. That dark, that evil? It was profound. Any whom were there, whom saw it at a glance could tell you that, and I got to sit with it for days."
You finally begin walking, and look back to the mirror, "I'm not gonna be able to help with it anymore. I might be completely insane. I might be on to something that will lead me to how I can truly make the most difference, how to help people. I'm not sure which, and I don't care anymore because I'm gonna do it. If you're a random cutter that just happened across this stone? Be wary of my warnings, I implore you. These dark powers from this other world are like something I wish I'd never seen, and whether or not they had any lasting effect on me I still don't know. You'd do well to take precaution."
There was a pause, and a little bit of joy floods into you once more, accompanied by sadness "If you're someone whom knows me already, whom I sent looking for this stone? I probably already told you this, but I'll miss you. I really will, but I can't come back. Not after what I saw. I love you like you were my family, and by every power and their mother I hope you stay safe in all of this. I am sorry I cannot accompany you to the end of this war, but you know already how much I wish you to stay well. All the same? Take care of yourselves, and don't do anything too stupid or reckless. There's only enough room for one 'me' in the verse, after all, heh heh..."
You close the mirror and your eyes. You let the memory fade, and the stone ends.
Your eyes open, and you are staring at your own reflection in the water of a running river in the Outlands. You take in your own features, knowing youself to be the drow "Minasien," even taking careful time to think of yourself as the Mystic spellcaster that has been helping with the war efforts in the Outlands fronts, the war against an alternate, invading Sigil. You know you're thinking these things specifically to give these thoughts to whomever might read the stone, although you also know, you meant this stone for specific people.
That actually makes you grin a bit as you pull away from the water and pull out a pocket mirror as your thoughts drift to how silly this actually is, leaving a message like this in a sensory stone, but you also know there's truly nothing else like it that could so adequately get across your feelings. There is a giddiness with what you are about to say, equally shared with a great sorrow as you begin to walk with no direction, looking at yourself in your mirror so whomever sees this stone knows you are talking to them.
"Hi there. First of all, if you're some random person whom found this random stone I did my best to make un-noticable, congratulations! I bleed at true stealth, but given you're in a sensorium with hundreds, if not thousands of stones to choose from, I'm surprised you'd choose one like this. Ah well, hopefully it's entertaining. If you're one of those I meant this for? Good job on finding it. I do like my games, I had to give one last before I left."
You sit down on a nearby rock, your eyes glancing ever so briefly between the river, and then back to the mirror, another wave of giddy-sadness hitting you; it's a chaotic swirl of emotion that makes you question your own sanity as you continue, "If things go as I'm planning, by the time you see this, I will be long gone. And I'll explain why in very short detail..."
You look away from the mirror to simply look around, letting your gaze pan slowly to the view and surroundings, taking it in and knowing well you may never see it again. You laugh at no one, suddenly coming to a realization you vocalize.
"It's kinda silly, I thought so long about how long about how I wanted to say and do this, and now that I'm here, I don't really care about my plan. So I'm going to roll the dice. I'm not going to rehash my entire history, but that which has driven me to these final decisions. A time ago in my past, I had something of a trouble of dopplegangers, ones from 'other worlds.' The short version to that crisis was that they were 'handled,' and now I'm fine and safe, but the planeswalkers that handled it... well, you don't mess with time and space without consequence. Added to that, dark has it my father was a real bad guy in this verse and dimension, and some of those walkers of these incidents came from other dimensions, and they mentioned that over there he's not only alive, which puts him at odds from this world, but he's a real high-up blood."
Thoughts swirl to the current war in the outlands as you grin back into the mirror, 'looking' at whomever may be watching, "That sound familiar to you? If you're in Sigil during the time I'm making this, it rusting will. When this war broke out, as any reasonable person might expect, I thought that all of this time spent looking for whom I am, what I am, where I belong, was finally going to get some answers."
Your gaze shoots left to a creature, a dragon or half dragon, gray of scale and only about as tall as an average human, standing bipedal on a lithe, muscular form. He looks right back at you, one eye a black void, the other a swirl of colors. It's not clear even to yourself which is which, but you instinctively recognize him as both the source for some of your most recent revelations as well as the questioning of your own sanity as of late. You can look at him, even feel him, and you have punched him in the past and it hurt, but no one else has seen or heard him, even with divinations and true sight. Even magic by an incredibly skilled dreamwalking fey could not find him. He wasn't real, but he was also not attached to your mind by your own knowledge. You were probably insane, and you knew it, but this no longer mattered to you. You spoke your next lines staring directly at this figure, knowing well it is a lesson he told you in your very first conversation.
"So rare it is, though, that the journey to find out our origins has a satisfying conclusion," you continue as your gaze finally pans back to the mirror, "I lost count of how many excursions I took outside of the cage, to a few worlds beyond. I got breadcrumbs, small bits of a trail to follow, and it ultimately led me back to Sigil right as this outbreak and other army started to invade."
The giddiness of your heart quickly faded, and conflicted sorrow mixed with uncertainty overwhelmed you, "and at first like reasonable cutters of my past might think, I thought I would finally get some answers, and my past would finally reveal itself. Well? It sorta did, and I could not have been more disappointed at first. I learned that all of this build-up was absolute horseblek. I could be wrong, but between this," you point and look at the dragonoid once more, "floating vision of my ever-increasing loss on reality, the fact that my answers have pointed to this whole invasion having only just minimal to no news of worries I was so sure would come to pass, and knowing ultimately that in all of this, I could be slowly losing my mind, it's managed to swirl into a strange sort of answer:"
You pause, and look into the mirror at yourself this time as much as you do whom you're communicating to, "None of matters to me anymore. I got my answers, even if they were partially from an imaginary jackass. They sucked. And upon knowing that, I realized that I've been wasting all this time looking for something that didn't really matter. Even if there is more to find, even if more answers are still hidden among all these enemy fanatics, I don't care anymore. It's a demiplane."
You stand, and look once more at the source of your insanity. He stares right back only a moment, before this time turning and simply floating away, into the sky and fading from view as you continue to speak to your listeners, "and I now stand ready to either chase after something that will render me insane, or change my life forever. I'll spare you the details, because if you are hearing this, whomever you are, you can already feel the chaotic swirl of emotions and thoughts. Maybe it's just a side effect of the slaad gear I wear all the damned time, even now. Or, maybe it's the real real. Either way, I've decided to follow them. They asked for my help. This time, it's my choice, and I want to follow and answer that call. So I'm gonna."
You look towards a direction you know will take you to Faunel, the gate town to the Beastlands as well as a source of some great unease. Thoughts of swirling forms, dragons, demons, and all sorts of creatures of darkness flood your mind. There is some brief fright and dread even as the memory of a portal of dark hits your mind once more, but you quickly push it away. You have a message to continue, and you do so.
"But if you do see this, whomever you are whether those I meant this for or not, if this is during the time of the war? Be careful. I could not implore you more. Those dark ones we fought before that portal I closed, and the sheer darkness, malice, blood... all of those feelings..." a feeling of dread fell over you as you continued, "I never have felt something like that. I worked for days to seal that portal, and for all I know, it could be simply warping my mind to something absolutely jumping the wrong way at things. Another reason I might be losing my damned mind. Either way, I have enough sense to know what I felt. That dark, that evil? It was profound. Any whom were there, whom saw it at a glance could tell you that, and I got to sit with it for days."
You finally begin walking, and look back to the mirror, "I'm not gonna be able to help with it anymore. I might be completely insane. I might be on to something that will lead me to how I can truly make the most difference, how to help people. I'm not sure which, and I don't care anymore because I'm gonna do it. If you're a random cutter that just happened across this stone? Be wary of my warnings, I implore you. These dark powers from this other world are like something I wish I'd never seen, and whether or not they had any lasting effect on me I still don't know. You'd do well to take precaution."
There was a pause, and a little bit of joy floods into you once more, accompanied by sadness "If you're someone whom knows me already, whom I sent looking for this stone? I probably already told you this, but I'll miss you. I really will, but I can't come back. Not after what I saw. I love you like you were my family, and by every power and their mother I hope you stay safe in all of this. I am sorry I cannot accompany you to the end of this war, but you know already how much I wish you to stay well. All the same? Take care of yourselves, and don't do anything too stupid or reckless. There's only enough room for one 'me' in the verse, after all, heh heh..."
You close the mirror and your eyes. You let the memory fade, and the stone ends.