"Let's go back to the beginning, it's easier that way..."
He'd done it, the spineless cur. He'd set me up for a murder I did not commit. Most believed in my innocence, but not Lord Keiyanaga. All the worse, actually, since he was law in the province.
"Dear, what's happened, why do you look so... mournful?"
"That murder.."
"Minister Hiroda, yes I heard. Teribble-"
"It was a set-up! They framed me! They say I did it!"
"What?! Who?!"
"Tanake, the bastard! He's always envied my life, my happiness, my reputation in the Lord's bodyguards, EVERYTHING! I should've known.. luckily Master Tchin warned me. He doesn't believe it, but trying to persuade the Lord is impossible!"
"This is absurd! He can't simply overlook everything you've done to protect him! Yes, your father wasn't from these regions and you've inherited his features, but looking like an outsider is not a reason to neglect everything!"
"Look, it's hopeless... I- I came here to say goodbye. I'll challenge that bastard Tanake and finish him. I won't be coming back, but in Hachiman's name I'll kill that scheming rat!"
I could see it in her face then, the recognition. I'd hoped she'd not pay enough attention to the details. What she said broke what little confidence I had in myself...
"You're not a good swordsman, dear, it'll be suicide... Please, don't waste yourself. Flee! Run away! Leave it all behind!"
"And let them come after you instead? So we're not officially married, but our mutuals feelings are no secret. I won't let that happen..."
"Nothing will happen to me, trust me on that!"
I did. She sure knew how to persuade me.
I ran, hid in the nearby woods until nightfall.
But... I couldn't leave before seeing her once more.
I never did. What I found was... horrifying. The house in flames, my beloved... gutted like a pig. I keep telling myself that bloody, cold thing on the ground was nothing more but a clump of cold meat. It lacked everything that made it my beloved. I cried that night, I cried the tears of a lifetime.
I was enraged. I would break my promise. I would break that bastard's legs, then I'd cut off his genitals and feed them to him...
I walked, through a night of pain, into the dawn of regrets.
Near Tanake's estate, a figure attacked me from the shadows of the nearby forest. I reacted to the clumsy swing. The figure fell dead on the ground. I took a closer look...
It was the son of Master Tchin. I'd killed the only son of the only person who I truly regarded as a friend.
I panicked. I ran, as far as my legs could carry. Like a coward, I ran instead of seeing it through, facing the consequences.
I did not cry... I couldn't, not anymore.
"Aye, carry on"
Every night, I pondered taking my own life. I tried, many times, to slice open my stomach, but I couldn't. I was too afraid of it, of what would happen to me then, where I'd end up in. There is a special place in eternal damnation for those who cause harm to innocents in such a blind, ignorant state as my rage.
So I journeyed West, away from Kara-Tur, living as a mercenary. Combat was the only thing keeping my mind straight. Idleness caused it to drift back into the good days, which lead, ultimately, into that nightmare...
"Mercenary. I see, what happened then?"
"Well..."
A Coward's Choice
-
*Gitrodamus
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am
I had no idea why I came to this place... this Sigil. It all felt so strange, so cold, uncaring and malevolent.
I ventured where I could with whatever people I found, it really made no difference to me. I tried to keep a neutral and professional relationship with everyone, which only seemed to lead me into loneliness. Nobody seemed to like a man who keeps to himself.
But I survived, somehow... managed to get by. The discussion with Relowyn in the Foul Olde Spirit that one evening got me thinking of my purpose here, or the lack of it. She was sent here to do something, a clear goal. I envied her for that. Me... I wasn't sent here, it was my own choice. But, what is it that I'm seeking here? Until it finally revealed itself to me: a new beginning, a chance to start anew without the burdens of the past.
It didn't really go as I thought it would. My past is too hard to discard and neither would I do so if given the chance. It hovers behind me as a reminder of what it is to make a wrong choice, what it is to act irrationally without contemplating the effects. I discarded my old, traditional armour. Somehow, severing that link to my past gave me a piece of mind. I could, for the first time, observe the decisions and actions I'd done in the past with an objective eye.
A bit later, I discovered the Red Death, one of the factions here in Sigil. Somehow, what they represented touched me deep. I believe there's a far more spiritual meaning behind that short philosophy of theirs. I enlisted. The uniform felt odd, not something I'd usually wear, but it has its use as an intimidating equipment, as well as an item identifying the wearer of his allegiance.
Guess I found what I was supposed to find, only I can really answer that, as he would say...
I ventured where I could with whatever people I found, it really made no difference to me. I tried to keep a neutral and professional relationship with everyone, which only seemed to lead me into loneliness. Nobody seemed to like a man who keeps to himself.
But I survived, somehow... managed to get by. The discussion with Relowyn in the Foul Olde Spirit that one evening got me thinking of my purpose here, or the lack of it. She was sent here to do something, a clear goal. I envied her for that. Me... I wasn't sent here, it was my own choice. But, what is it that I'm seeking here? Until it finally revealed itself to me: a new beginning, a chance to start anew without the burdens of the past.
It didn't really go as I thought it would. My past is too hard to discard and neither would I do so if given the chance. It hovers behind me as a reminder of what it is to make a wrong choice, what it is to act irrationally without contemplating the effects. I discarded my old, traditional armour. Somehow, severing that link to my past gave me a piece of mind. I could, for the first time, observe the decisions and actions I'd done in the past with an objective eye.
A bit later, I discovered the Red Death, one of the factions here in Sigil. Somehow, what they represented touched me deep. I believe there's a far more spiritual meaning behind that short philosophy of theirs. I enlisted. The uniform felt odd, not something I'd usually wear, but it has its use as an intimidating equipment, as well as an item identifying the wearer of his allegiance.
Guess I found what I was supposed to find, only I can really answer that, as he would say...
-
*Gitrodamus
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 12:00 am
"Come on now, what happens next?"
I hitched a ride with the first caravan I came across. That's how it all started. Caravan guards are usually paid for their services, some are very expensive. I became quite famous in those circles, since all I required as pay were a few meals a day to keep me going.
I was commonly known as the Sleepless One, because of my nightmares. They didn't leave me be, not during the day, not during the night. I was exhausted after every morning, having battled my demons. It didn't really matter whether I tried to sleep or stay awake, the result was just the same.
The good part was the chance to see distant regions and settlements. I covered a lot of ground during those years. Well, sometimes there was magic involved to hasten the journey, but not too often.
"And finally, you came to this idyllic little village for a wee stop?"
"By accident, yes"
"No, by fate! You see, the moment I saw you, I knew you were the man I will make an offer"
"My father was the old wise man of this village before me. That was when I was much younger, you see... can't be the old wise man if you're young and all"
"Anyway, he said there's a pathway to a different place a short way up the path over there. When one in need appears, he or she should be directed to the pathway"
"And? Where does it lead?"
"Tehee, funny thing is, I've got no clue! But, it only works one way and one time only. After someone goes through, it disappears forever! POOF!"
"A portal of some sort?"
"Mhm, follow me"
"Here it is. Go on closer, it'll reveal itself to you now..."
"Why me? What's there, beyond, for me to gain?"
"Well yes, I'm sure you're not the exact type my father originally meant by a person in need. More like someone on a quest to save the world from an impending doom. But, he's a dead wise man, and I'm here. I call the shots"
"But what do I find on the other side?"
"Told you already, I don't know where it leads to.."
"What am I looking for in there, I need to know"
"Ha, what you're looking is to you!"
"I see... well, I've got nothing to lose.."
"Exactly! Farewell! And remember, a coward would not dare go through that into the unknown!"
"I see. Goodbye..."
I hitched a ride with the first caravan I came across. That's how it all started. Caravan guards are usually paid for their services, some are very expensive. I became quite famous in those circles, since all I required as pay were a few meals a day to keep me going.
I was commonly known as the Sleepless One, because of my nightmares. They didn't leave me be, not during the day, not during the night. I was exhausted after every morning, having battled my demons. It didn't really matter whether I tried to sleep or stay awake, the result was just the same.
The good part was the chance to see distant regions and settlements. I covered a lot of ground during those years. Well, sometimes there was magic involved to hasten the journey, but not too often.
"And finally, you came to this idyllic little village for a wee stop?"
"By accident, yes"
"No, by fate! You see, the moment I saw you, I knew you were the man I will make an offer"
"My father was the old wise man of this village before me. That was when I was much younger, you see... can't be the old wise man if you're young and all"
"Anyway, he said there's a pathway to a different place a short way up the path over there. When one in need appears, he or she should be directed to the pathway"
"And? Where does it lead?"
"Tehee, funny thing is, I've got no clue! But, it only works one way and one time only. After someone goes through, it disappears forever! POOF!"
"A portal of some sort?"
"Mhm, follow me"
"Here it is. Go on closer, it'll reveal itself to you now..."
"Why me? What's there, beyond, for me to gain?"
"Well yes, I'm sure you're not the exact type my father originally meant by a person in need. More like someone on a quest to save the world from an impending doom. But, he's a dead wise man, and I'm here. I call the shots"
"But what do I find on the other side?"
"Told you already, I don't know where it leads to.."
"What am I looking for in there, I need to know"
"Ha, what you're looking is to you!"
"I see... well, I've got nothing to lose.."
"Exactly! Farewell! And remember, a coward would not dare go through that into the unknown!"
"I see. Goodbye..."